


Détente

by 2degreesabovefreezing



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, VictUuri, Yoi - Freeform, viktuuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 00:57:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9854903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2degreesabovefreezing/pseuds/2degreesabovefreezing
Summary: Yuri is an undercover spy, sent to live in Russia with infamous precious mineral trafficker Viktor Nikiforov, posing as a foreign entrepreneur looking to strike up a business deal. Viktor endlessly searches for ways to assert authority over Yuri but Yuri isn’t quick to scare and he proves to be a match for the hot-headed Russian. Among the chaotic, secretive world they live in, these two enemies manage to find a period of détente where love can blossom.





	1. Pride and Prejudice

Yuri fidgeted with the collar of his suit. _Be cool_ , he told himself, _be cool_. This wasn’t his first job ever; the agency had put him on a hundred cases like this before. _No… not quite like this_. Those jobs were smaller, easier, _safer_. This would be his first time undercover. A new name, new clothes, new story. He had taken those other cases on as Yuuri Katsuki. This time, he would be Yuri Kuznetsov. A Russo-Japanese precious mineral dealer, seeking out a lucrative business deal with the head honcho himself, Victor Nikiforov.

He had been prepped for weeks, _months_ , on the situation. He knew the name and face of everyone in Victor’s crime ring. He knew the signals, the gestures, the slang. _You won’t fuck this up, you can’t fuck this up_ , he reminded himself. _I’m going to be with Nikiforov, up close and personal. No more of this peeking around walls bullshit. If he wants to slit my throat, he will._

“Ready yet?” His partner, Phichit called.

“Don’t sass the boss, Fu-han.” Yuri teased. Those were the rolls they were to play. Yuri Kuznetkov, the rich, young, entrepreneur and Fu-han, the trustworthy transportation specialist.

The boy sneered at the name. “I wish they’d picked something cooler for me. I mean, I don’t even get to speak they whole time we’re there.” It was Phichit’s role to pretend as if he didn’t speak a word of Russian, making him less of a threat and more susceptible to overhearing something important.

“You can talk to _me_.” Yuri pointed out.

“Well now that you put it like that, I have something to get excited about, don’t I? I get to spend the next four months discussing the ins and outs of pork cutlet bowl.” He walked over to where his friend stood in front of a full-body mirror and adjusted his tie. “I just wish I weren’t the simpleton side-kick.”

“We wish a lot of things, Phichit. That doesn’t mean we get them all.” Yuri took one more look at himself and decided he was satisfied with the look, even though it was so foreign to him. He wore contacts and slicked his hair back with thick, slimy, gel. “Ready?”

“I should be asking you that. You’re the one who’s been gawking at his reflection like a parrot for the last half-hour.”

“Let’s go.”

They moved from headquarters to the airport in an unidentifiable black car and boarded the plane without so much as saying a word to each other. Those were the orders. _Be immemorable, as if you weren’t even there_. They followed instructions coldly, despite both of them being shaken out of their skins in fear. They had devised a code, something only the two of them knew. They had discrete body signals for everything but somehow, throughout the whole plane ride, Yuri could only remember one: folded hands and a left shoulder shrug, meaning _let’s get the hell out of here right now_.

_You can do this, Yuri. Stop doubting yourself. Doubt equals death_. They had drilled that phrase into him in his academy days. _Doubt equals death_. He repeated the phrase to himself silently but only the word _death_ made an impression. _Shake it off! Come on!_ He coached himself. _You can do this, you can do this._

Of the many worries that plagued Yuri, loss of his family dwarfed the others. _What if I never see my family again? I couldn’t tell them where I was going, they don’t know anything. They think I’m a lowly banker, working my way up the company like a diligent, up-standing, young man. They think I’m in China right now on business, securing a promotion. What would they think of me if they knew the truth? What would they say if they could see the amount of ammo I have packed under my clothes right now? I’m a walking bomb. If someone flicked their cigarette bud at me, the Moscow airport would be a crater._

After what felt like forever, the plane landed. It was a bittersweet feeling for Yuri. On one hand, he hated every second that took him farther from comfort but on the other hand, he wished he could’ve stayed up in the clouds, far away from everything, forever. Now they were in Moscow, the situation was real and final.

“Where are they supposed to meet us?” Phichit asked in Tai.

Yuri examined the signs around them. “Terminal 4- South.” He could read, write, and even speak Russian but still, all the signs looked like gibberish to him. His anxiety had fried his mind during the plane ride and his vision had gone dizzy.

“Who’s coming?” The boy asked.

“You know as much as I do.” Yuri reminded him. “We’ll find out when we find out.” He peered out on the mass of strangers from beneath his sunglasses, looking for a face he could recognize. He and Phichit trained with flashcards. One side had a mug shot and the other side, a name and description. All in all, there were one hundred and forty-four cards. Now it was time to finally put those months of studying to use.

After a minute, Yuri caught sight of the first recognizable face. “Bingo. 3’oclock.” He queued to Phichit under his breath. The boy quickly looked where he instructed.

“Is that…?”

Then it struck Yuri. _Victor Nikiforov_. And walking with him were Yakov Feltsman and Yurio Plisetsky, the three amigos, the grand trio, Russia’s most notorious sinners. Yuri couldn’t wrap his mind around the situation. Here they were, all _three_ of them, in broad day light without masks or guards or even sunglasses. Exposed but not vulnerable. They carried with them an unapproachable sense of power, as if their coats were stitched with confidence and their shoes laced with authority. Yuri was dazed.

Phichit prodded him in the ribs with his elbow hard and Yuri regained composer. He pulled off his glasses and made a stern face, trying to mimic their careless strength as they approached. Victor made it known in the group that he was the leader by stepping forward to Yuri, blue eyes piercing and sharp. Yuri expected him to say something smooth like, _We’ve been expecting you_ or, _We finally meet_. What came caught him off guard.

“Long flight, isn’t it? I hope you got some shut-eye.” The man said and flashed him a small, non-offensive, smile.

Yuri nodded. _Make a good impression_ , he told himself. “I’m Yuri Kuznetsov and this is my partner-“

“Fu-han.” Victor interrupted. “I know who you two are. Yhy wouldn’t I? I do my research, Yuri.”

“O-of course.” Yuri cursed himself for stuttering but it seemed to please Victor, who chuckled under his breath and smiled _. No, no, no! This isn’t what I want!_ Yuri thought. _He doesn’t take me seriously. We’re only a minute into this job and Victor’s been playing me the whole time. He’s going to eat me alive if I can’t reinstate control soon._

Yuri cocked his head and smiled back coolly. “It seems we all know more about each other than we let on, perhaps? I expect we’ll make good partners. If we already know everything to know about each other, then there’s nothing to hide, is there?”

Victor’s eyes widened. He was intrigued by this new boy. When people came in search of his business, especially the young entrepreneurs, he could always throw them into insecurity with a single look. This Yuri character promised a little bit more of a challenge. “I’m a man of my word, Yuri, so let’s make a promise. If you promise to believe everything I tell you and never question my version of the truth, then I will never lie to you. That’s what will make us good partners. Do we have a deal?”

“Sure, I’ll agree to that, if you, in turn, promise to never doubt me. What’s the use of loyalty if the one you’re loyal to doesn’t trust you? Then I’m just a soldier to a foreign king.”

Victor considered this for a moment before smiling and patting Yuri once on the head approvingly. “Clever!” He declared. “Okay, Yuri, I will always trust you and you will always believe me. That’s our deal.”

Yuri shook Victor’s hand, controlling his trembling just long enough so that the man wouldn’t notice. The silver-haired power-house turned to Phichit, who was cool and collected as ever. He had had longer than Yuri to regain him composure. “Fu-Han.” He greeted. They shook hands. “You’ll have to excuse me, it’s been a while since I last spoke Japanese.” He said in heavily-accented Japanese.

“Pleased to meet you.” Phichit responded, rather monotone.

“You two are rather cold for being Japanese. Isn’t it polite for you to bow to me?” Victor asked.

Yuri took the opportunity to take charge of the conversation again. “You know what they say: When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

Victor grew more pleased with Yuri. “Rome is a bit more temperate than Moscow, you’ll see. Now, I’m sure you know these two,” He gestured with a nod to the men behind him, “So if that’s all for introductions, let’s be on our way. Is that suitable to you two?” He asked, putting the ball in Yuri’s court.

“ _Plenty_.” Yuri quirked up a corner of his mouth, stealing a beat from Victor’s heart. His charm was undeniable.

They followed the Russians through the airport, trying not to look around with interest and discomfort at the foreign surroundings.  “Our car is right outside here.” Victor told them.

“Who’s the driver?” Yuri asked in response.

“I am.”

Yuri wanted to object or at least gasp but he swallowed his reaction. He had to roll with the surprises as if he had planned for them, it was part of the job. He tried to reason in his head why such an important and powerful man as Victor Nikiforov would make himself vulnerable like that. Maybe he usually had a driver but today he chose to do it himself to show off his confidence to the new-comers. That seemed like him. They got out to where the car sat and Yuri looked at apprehensively.

“You don’t like my car?” Victor asked, seeing how Yuri stopped a few feet from it and wouldn’t come any closer. Victor approached the driver’s door.

Yuri tensed. “Who’s been watching the car?” He asked, dread causing the hairs on his arms to stand on end. Something seemed wrong to him. You couldn’t trust an unsupervised car, everyone knew that. So what was Victor trying to pull? Yakov and Yurio got in without hesitation. Phichit took a step back, sensing danger as well.

Victor smiled good-heartedly. “We’re not as notorious as you might believe, Yuri. This isn’t some American action movie. Now come on, get in the car, I don’t want to stand around in a cold parking lot all day. Here, I’ll get the heater running and it’ll be nice and cozy, you’ll see.”

The man opened his door and sat in the driver’s seat just as a small, almost unnoticeable flashing red light under the car caught Yuri’s eye. The breath got stuck in his throat. “Victor!” Yuri cried. The man didn’t respond but to dig for his keys in his pocket and match them up in the ignition.  Hot blood pulsed Yuri’s veins like venom as he bolted into action. He tore the car door open and yanked Victor out with all his force, throwing himself to the concrete at the same time. Pain shot up his spine from the impact.

The silver-haired man cried out in surprise, Yuri’s lithe form cushioning him. “What the fuck was that!?” He snarled.

Yuri still laid on the concrete, gripping his chest and trying to get the air back into his lungs. “ _Under the car_.” He wheezed.

Victor got up and discovered the flashing object. He bent down and tore it off in one swift motion then showed Yuri who quirked his eyebrow at it in confusion. “It’s just a battery-operated blinker, Detective.” He explained. This didn’t clear up any of Yuri’s confusion. Victor helped the injured man up. “I planted it.” He said proudly.

“Wait… what?” The words breathily escaped Yuri’s stunned lips.

“I put it there to test how observant you are. I was wondering if you’d try to stop me or not. I didn’t expect a reaction that was so-“

Yuri interrupted Victor by snatching the toy from his hand and throwing it hard against the concrete so that it broke into pieces. “ _That’s what this was_!? A little joke!? A prank!? A test!?” Yuri conveyed undiluted anger in his expression. “I’m your business partner, not an interviewee, Victor! I promised you that I would be loyal and I’ll stick to my word! But don’t try to trick it out of me. You said you wouldn’t lie, well look there!” He pointed to the broken toy. “ _That_ was a lie! Don’t pull that kind of shit again.” He warned.

Instinctively, Victor took defense. “ _Don’t speak to me like that_. _Do you know who I am_?”

“Not yet, I don’t.” Yuri fired back, unshakable in his stance. “But I’m going to find out, Victor Nikiforov. You can lie and steal and cheat all you want but I’m just as smart as you and you’re not going to fool me. If you’re looking for someone to play tricks on, then I’m not your sheep.”

Victor stared the smaller man down but he wouldn’t back off. “Get in the car.” He grumbled in submission. Yuri scooted into the back alongside Phichit and his façade crumbled within seconds. He promptly passed out due to fear and anxiety. Phichit dismissed it, saying he was just sleeping off his jet lag.

Yuri woke up after an hour to see that, 1- they were still driving and 2- that he had no idea where they were or how they had gotten there. He glanced to Phichit and hoped that the boy was making some sort of mental map of the journey.

No one in the car spoke. The only noise came from the radio that played a slow, rhythmic, Russian opera singer with a deep, soothing baritone. Yuri figured there was a reason no one dared to speak over the music so he didn’t even try. He just looked out the window and studied the landscape.

_We must be somewhere in the countryside_ , Yuri thought. _It’s so green_. _Everything is alive and healthy and lush with foliage_. _It’s actually quite beautiful. I suppose this isn’t such a bad place to die when Victor seeks his revenge on me for earlier._

Yuri wondered what it would be. _Will he simply keep trying to assert his dominance through body language and aggressive conversation or will he try something more insidious, like pulling a blade on me when we’re alone? Whatever it is, I can’t ever make it look like I’m avoiding him. That would be handing him his victory. I can’t let him know that I’m afraid of him, I can’t back down, no matter what.  Even if he pulls a blade on me… I have to stand my ground or he’ll destroy me._

The drive to Victor’s base camp was long. Yuri didn’t know what to expect but he had assumed they’d be going to an elusive headquarters or some sort of a bunker but when they pulled up, Yuri couldn’t distinguish the building from any old house. It was, in one word, plain. No guards, no fence, no cameras. Yuri had met suburban house wives that tried harder than Victor to keep themselves safe.

The seemingly obliviousness and vulnerability of Victor was puzzling but Yuri certain that the man was not an idiot. He knew how easily he could be targeted but he lived his life openly and without fear anyhow. Perhaps that was what made the man so intimidating. He thought himself a god and so far, no one had proved him wrong.

“Come inside,” Victor invited once the music was silenced. “We have many extra bedrooms, you’ll be comfortable.”

The Asians followed the trio in without exchanging a word. _I have to be charming_ , Yuri thought. _No more butting heads with Victor, I want him to like me. Play it cool._ “How old is this place?” Yuri asked.

“I had it built three years ago.” Victor answered. What amazed Yuri was the excessive detail Victor had put into making it look aged. “The stone, wood, and marble is all imported from torn down cathedrals. The banisters and drapes are from Saint Basil’s Cathedral in Red Square, but that’s your and my secret, okay?” The man explained with a wink.

_He really does think he’s God_ , Yuri thought.

They were shown the house by its proud owner who explained every picture on every wall and every trinket on every shelf. Yuri recognized some of the pieces from news reports, back when they had originally gone missing. _What a vain man_ , he noted to himself. Then, Yuri had a strange stroke of compassion. _He must be truly lonely, then. He talks about these things as if they’re the most important things in his life. Poor man. I suppose, like me, he has to put his friends and family on the back burner for this job_.

 Yuri was surprised when he recognized the emotion of sympathy in himself.  He tried to dismiss it but it stayed and worsened as he watched Victor parade his belongings around in front of them. _He’s empty. He has money, but that’s it. Look at him, the poor bastard. He doesn’t even know how little he really has. God… do I actually feel bad for Victor Nikiforov?_ Yuri reminded himself of the incident with the planted bomb and the feeling dissipated. _He’s a jerk. He toys with people, that’s why he’s so lonely._

“Dinner is being prepared. Feel free to walk around and familiarize yourself with the house. Only one rule: If a door’s locked, don’t try to open it. I’ll respect your privacy, you respect mine.”

Yuri nodded, a simple act to show gratitude. “It’s a very nice place, Victor. We appreciate your hospitality.” He said with sincerity and a small smile. He swore he noticed a change in Victor. He saw surprise flash against his face followed by satisfaction. For a moment, Yuri though the man would forget about retaliation but the satisfaction was soon followed by cold, hateful, determination.  Yuri tried to mask the rock that fell slowly down his throat. _I’ve made it worse. Somehow, I made it worse._

“It’s no trouble.” Victor excused, his voice deep and hard. He excused himself, fleeing down a corridor into the indistinguishable darkness.

Phichit looked to Yuri and bit his bottom lip, meaning _: Let’s find some privacy_ then darted his eyes to the door. Yuri nodded and they left. “What was that about?” Phichit asked when they were a few minutes down the road from the house. The friends walked together casually, their guards down for the first time that day.

“That whole mood switch he did there at the end? Beats me. Do you think I said something?”

“It really seemed like he was reacting to what you said, like it bothered him. I just don’t see why… You were throwing out your aces. He should be charmed by you by now.”

“Quit it.” Yuri chuckled.

“I’m serious. You’re killing it.”

“Yeah, well, on the subject of killing, if you don’t see me tomorrow, you know who did it.”

“No kidding? You think he’s still caught up on that bomb thing?”

“He sure looks like he is, doesn’t he?”

“Well… Yeah. I guess he’s grudge holder. I suppose you can’t expect civility from a mob boss, can you? And- _Jesus_! Did you hear the way he talks about all the stupid shit in his house!? I thought I was going to tear my hair out! He’s so conceded! It’s going to be a good day when we stand by and watch swat drag him out of that house kicking and screaming.”

Somehow, the thought didn’t give Yuri pleasure. In fact, a little pit of commiseration grew at the base of his stomach. He forced himself to smile but it didn’t ease the uncomfortable guilt that he bore. _Why does it feel wrong? It’s not like he doesn’t deserve it. He’s a criminal, the biggest criminal of the rare minerals world. People have died by his orders. There’s so much blood in his past… so why does this feel wrong?_

Yuri imagined Victor being dragged through the lawn of his magnificent home by five men, all twice as strong as he has. Victor would be crying and begging like a child as he was torn away from all the objects that gave his existence meaning. He would realize how futile it all was and how he was, despite his best efforts, completely alone. Yakov and Yurio would let him take the fall, explaining to the court officials how the king had given orders and they had followed. Then Victor would wait in a cell for years until that fatal day when they strapped him to a table and hooked him up to an IV… and he would cry, like the lonely child he was.

Yuri ducked off the road and vomited into the bushes. Phichit came to his aid immediately and made him sit down while he checked for signs of poisoning. Yuri knew he hadn’t been poisoned. It was something even worse, _pity_. The thought of Victor’s scared, watery, crystal-blue eyes would stay with him, haunting him.

“Let’s go back,” Phichit proposed. “You can take the night off and try to get better. I bet it’s just your nerves. I’ll tell the Russians that you’re recovering from that jet lag.”

“I can’t do that, it’s an act of cowardice. Victor will think he scared me or that I’m too physically weak to handle the stress of being here.”

Phichit wanted to argue with him but he knew as well as Yuri did that the job comes before health. “Take it easy, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” He agreed. They continued walking, hoping the fresh air would cure them of the cold dread that laced their blood but they knew it was in vain. They wouldn’t breathe easy again until the whole thing was over with.

When the sun was starting to set, they began on their way back to the house. No matter how hard he tried, Yuri continued to be plagued by Victor’s eyes. He hated the way those bright, blue, eyes looked at him. He hated that he pitied Victor. He hated that he couldn’t hate Victor. _Why, Dammit!?_ He cursed himself. Yuri remembered his neighbor’s son, Takeo, who was a stubborn and miserable child. Yuri had been charged with watching Takeo. At first, he hated the boy. He was always spitting at him and trying to fight him. He would steal things from Yuri then lie about it. As time went on, Yuri learned how to befriend the boy. Takeo wanted to be hated. He wanted people to get angry and leave him alone so he could cry in private. When people worried about him, it made him feel weak. Yuri showed the boy unending forgiveness and love and one day, Takeo just gave up fighting it. A smile snuck onto Yuri’s face.

“What are you smiling about?” Phichit asked.

“I’m just remembering someone back home.” He said. _I figured it out. I have to show Victor that unconditional acceptance. No matter what he does, I have to forgive him_.

When they got back to the house and stood on the front lawn, they could hear a young voice yelling from inside. _Yurio_ , Yuri though. “Can you just chill out!? I don’t fuck’n know where they went so stop asking!”

Phichit trembled, sensing that consequences were waiting for them inside but Yuri entered the house without hesitation. He came in the front door to see Victor at the opposite end of the room with Yurio at his side. They both looked in his direction. Yurio scoffed and left, saying “ _There he is_.” Victor, on the other hand, had a much more complex reaction. He looked to Yuri with worry, then that same satisfaction Yuri had seen earlier. He might have smiled faintly but Yuri might have just imagined it. He wasn’t sure.

Yuri took a deep breath and thought of Takeo. An honest smile rested on his face. “I hope we didn’t worry anyone,” he said gently. “Fu-han and I went to get some fresh air. Being in a plane for ten hours makes you feel so stuffed up.”

Victor didn’t know how to respond so he sat there for a moment in silence. Finally, he found something to say. “Wash up. Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes.” With that, he left the room. Yuri puckered his lips to keep from smiling. _I was right. Takeo used to do that too. When someone was nice to him, he would act as if he didn’t care._ Yuri went to wash his hands. _What did he do after that?_ Yuri tried to remember. _Actually, he was usually worse behaved after that. He would take out his frustration by pulling my hair or hitting me in the ear_. _He liked being shown affection and he got angry at himself for liking it. Then he would act out to punish me for being nice to him._

As Yuri remembered, cold sweat formed on the back of his neck _. I was nice to him when he didn’t deserve it. I saved him from that fake bomb, I complimented his house even after he had rubbed his wealth in my face, and just now, I did it again. He had no reason to get worked up over us taking a walk but I was kind to him, I smiled. He’s going to try to scare me away from him._

Yuri looked into the bathroom mirror and smirked, feeling the same unshakable resolve that he had felt when he was taming Takeo. “Alright, Victor, go ahead.” He said to his reflection. “I’m ready for you. _You can’t break me._ ”

Everyone sat at the table in silence as a team of three servants brought out the food and laid down the plates. Victor looked over the table when it was set then nodded and whisked the staff away with a flick of his wrist. “Dig in, boys.” He invited.

Yuri and Phichit didn’t hesitate to whop enormous amounts of food on their plates. Yuri suspected that Victor had gone out of his way to prepare a meal that would offend foreigners. The menu included unnecessarily rare dishes like sheep head, duck blood soup, and cow brain. To Victor’s disappointment, neither Yuri nor Phichit had any qualms about it. _Why does he want to make me uncomfortable?_ Yuri wondered. _He must think I’m strong. I bet he’s looking for a way to shake me. Phichit’s right, I’m good at my job._

“Hungry?” Victor asked. Yuri looked up from his plate. He could tell that the man was masking his annoyance.

He nodded. “It’s very generous for you to have us in your home like this. We were expecting to stay in a hotel.”

“Nonsense. You’re my guests.”

Yuri translated the message into Japanese for Phichit, who had understood it the first time around in Russian but pretended to be interested. He turned to Victor, nodded his head, and thanked him in formal Japanese.

“I hope everything is to your liking.” Victor prodded again.

The Asians had not slowed their eating down at all. “Mm-hm.” Yuri said with his mouth full of food. “I’ve searched high and low for sheep in Japan but I just can’t get it unless I’m overseas.”

The annoyance was now more clear on Victor’s face as he bitterly dug into his own meal. Neither Yurio nor Yakov said anything. _I wonder why they’re so quiet…_ Yuri thought, cleaning the last of the meat out the sheep’s eye socket. _They’re not comfortable around us. I mean, neither is Victor, but unlike them, he’s obsessed about proving that he’s the alpha male here_.

“Yuri.” Victor finally said, breaking the silence. Yuri met his eyes curiously. He knew Victor was going to try to expose his weaknesses again. He was relentless.

“Yeah?”

“How old are you, Yuri?”

“Guess.” He replied coolly, catching Victor off guard.

“Hmm… I have a hard time with Japanese faces. So youthful. To me, you all look like children.”

Yuri smiled. _Cheap shot, Victor_ , He thought. _You can do better than that_. “With the workforce of today becoming more and more stressful, soon all our children will look like old men.”

At first, Victor had enjoyed Yuri’s clever tongue but now it irked him. He hated feeling outsmarted.  “Do you face much stress at work, Yuri?”

Yuri locked eye contact with Victor. “That entirely depends on my partner. But I have a feeling this deal will go well.”

“How do you know?”

“I have good intuition.”

“Is that why you’re so successful?” He asked, making a reference to their difference in wealth.

“No. My business skills and team of directors make me successful. It’s my intuition that keeps me alive.”

“Let me give you a word of advice, Yuri. Don’t ever get too comfortable. Your intuition may not know as much as you think it does.” Victor tried to seem intimidating but Yuri wasn’t fazed.

“It hasn’t steered me wrong yet.”

Victor was getting glances from his comrades. Even they knew he was losing the fight. He took a moment to recover before firing back. “I should like to visit Japan again sometime soon.”

“If you ever make the trip out, you’re more than welcome to stay with me. I’d love the opportunity to return your hospitality.”

“Do you have a family, Mr.Kuznekov?”

“No need for formalities and yes, I do. They’d be thrilled to have a foreigner like yourself in the house but I must warn you, they’re a bit nosy.”

“I’d be bringing my friends along.” Victor suspected that Yuri was bluffing simply to be polite and that he’s say something ridiculously cheerful like, ‘ _the more the merrier!_ ’ The response he received caught him off guard.

“Well, as I’m sure you can understand, quite a bit of danger comes with my profession and I must be especially careful when it comes to my family. I wouldn’t want anybody I don’t trust in the family home. Sorry. I’d be able to recommend some very nice hotels for them, though.”

“You trust me?” The words fell out of Victor’s mouth before he could process them.

Yuri gave Victor a sincere look of compassion. “I promised I would, didn’t I?”

Victor searched Yuri’s face for dishonesty but couldn’t find it. “Alright. When this business deal is concluded, let’s take a holiday in Japan.” He said, testing Yuri again.

Yuri’s smile grew. “So the deal’s on?”

“Sure. Deal’s on.”

“Great! I can’t wait! Japan is beautiful in the summer time. There will be plenty of places for me to show you.” The joy in his voice was genuine.

Victor stared. For a moment, Yuri swore that Victor was touched. His eyes glimmered with happiness and gratitude but the moment came quickly and left even quicker.  Victor’s brows furrowed harshly and that look of hatred returned. He stood and left the table.

Yurio and Yakov mumbled to each other. “I guess that’s that.” Yurio commented, turning to Yuri. “Now you’ve done it. We’re going to have to deal with his tantrums for the rest of the night. Why don’t you two just go to your room and stop causing so much annoyance?”

Yuri nodded and led Phichit off to their room. The boys talked for hours, trying to decide what their next steps should be. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? It’s the middle of the night!” Phichit exasperatedly flopped against his bed. “He hates you, he loves you, beats me. We’ll find out soon enough, won’t we?”

“You mean when you find me in the morning with my throat slit?”

“ _He’s not going to slit your throat_ ,” Phichit assured his friend. “There’s no gain in that. I’ll tell you what he’s going to do. He’s going to kidnap you and sell you into slave labor. That way, he can use the money he gets from you to buy more pretentious shit for his castle.”

“Excuse you, it’s not a _castle_ , it’s a _cathedral_ where all the loyal subjects can worship the mighty and powerful Victor Nikiforov.”

Phichit laughed. “Go take a shower. You stink. You’re not going to raise a good price when you smell like a crate of camels.”

Yuri took his towel and a change of clothes and went down the hall to the bathroom. He stood there and let the hot water soothe him. _Victor’s not so bad_ , he assured himself. I _’ve dealt with children all my life. This is no different, except that he’s bigger, taller, and in control of a militant mob force. But still, if I just play my cards right, I can do this._ _He just needs patience, acceptance, approval, and love. Like a toddler, Yuri, like dealing with a toddler, right? You can do this._

Yuri got out of the shower, dressed, and began to head back to his room when he heard his name whispered from somewhere in the darkness. His heart skipped a beat as he spun around on his heel. “Yes?” He asked. The hallway was dark, he couldn’t see anyone.

“Yuri, come here.” Now that he was listening, he could recognize the voice as Victor’s. _The retaliation_ , Yuri thought. _Here it comes_.

Yuri walked towards the voice. As he came closer, he could see the man’s form illuminated by the moonlight that flooded through the window. “What is it?” He asked.

“What are you doing wandering around the house so late at night?”

“I just took a shower. I’m going to bed.”

“Come to bed with me.” The man’s sultry voice offered. He walked towards Yuri who corresponded by backing up into a wall where Victor cornered him.

Yuri was stunned. “I’m here to be your business partner, not your-“

“I take all my business you bed.”

Yuri felt a warm hand slide down his cheek. He shivered. “V-Victor…”

“Ah, I made you stutter again.” Victor whispered.

He suddenly felt a hand move along his thigh as smoothly as a snake. It reached his groin and cupped it possessively. Yuri gasped and the muscles in his body tensed in reaction to the touch but he still could not move away. “Victor.” Yuri breathed, fear working into his voice.

“No reason to make a fuss about it, is there?” Victor leaned in and pushed his lips against Yuri’s, moving with energy and lust. Yuri felt his warm tongue sliding along his gums. He smelled the man’s cologne, felt the velvet of his robe and the heat of his breath on his face. As Victor pulled away, those blue eyes locked on his, waiting for response.

Yuri couldn’t understand the emotions held behind them. He looked wild and empowered but that wasn’t all. There was a sincere desire in them as well. It wasn’t all about control, Yuri could tell. There was something else there too. He just couldn’t tell what. Yuri took a breath and started to put his thoughts together. _Don’t say yes. No matter what, don’t give him this. Just as importantly, don’t react with fear or anger. He’s vulnerable. This is like when Takeo would hit me and pull my hair. He’s showing me that I moved him but the only way he knows how to react is by taking out his confusion and frustration on me. Okay, Yuri, you can do this._

Yuri reached up and scooted Victor’s bangs away from his eyes so they could look at each other clearly. _Physical touch always helped Takeo settle down,_ he remembered. Yuri watched as the act of affection changed Victor’s mood. He seemed relieved that he had not been reciprocated badly. He was less aggressive now.

“Victor. You have to let go of me now.” Yuri said quietly without threat or malice.

The silver-haired man furrowed his brows. “Why?”

“Because we’re not going to have sex.”

Victor was confused and embarrassed. Yuri sensed this. He slowly moved Victor’s hand away from his groin and the man didn’t resist. _Good. Good job, Yuri. Be gentle. You can get out of here with minimal damage_. “Go to sleep. You’ve had a long day, right? I know I have. We need some sleep and a big breakfast in the morning. Victor, look at me.” The man was confused, hurt, and confused as to why he was hurt. Yuri gently guided his chin forward. “Do you like eggs benedict?”

Victor responded with a slight, almost undetectable, nod.

Yuri gave him a warm smile. “Good. I like _making_ eggs benedict. Now we both have something to look forward to tomorrow.” He swiftly moved out of Victor’s hold and stepped into the hallway. “See you in the morning Victor.”

Without looking back, he began walking down the hallway towards his room. He opened the door, stepped in, and closed it before collapsing into a trembling mess on the floor. He put a hand over his chest and felt his heart race wildly.

He looked to where Phichit laid asleep in his bed. _Thank God_ , he thought. _He doesn’t have to know. This is between me and Victor. This is our game. It’s not about money or precious minerals, it’s about us_. When he had the energy, he moved to his bed and tried to relax.

No matter what he did, he couldn’t stop remembering those moments with Victor. The smell of his cologne filled his nostrils. He still felt that moist breath on his cheek. His tongue was still in his mouth, smooth and seductive. Even when he closed his eyes, Victor’s ice blue irises still looked back at him in wonder.

Yuri knew this wasn’t a one-and-done situation. He would see a lot more of Victor in the upcoming months. He _wanted_ to see a lot more of Victor.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Yuri slept restlessly and work early. He slung his legs over the side of his bed and saw that Phichit was still asleep and that sunlight was seeping through the curtains. _So, what’ll it be today?_ He thought. _What game will Victor and I play? Yesterday it was a battle for power._ Images of last night flashed through his memory. _He tried to sleep with me. Why? For power? For pleasure? Because he actually likes me? All of those? None of those?_

Yuri stood and rifled through his suitcase for clothes _._ Back in Japan, he would have just rolled out of bed in his boxers, thrown on his glasses, and stumbled to the kitchen. For the next four months, he wouldn’t have that privilege. He was never seen outside his room in anything but a button-up and slacks with his hair gelled back and his contacts in. The look was half the charade, after all. _I wonder if he’s angry about last night. If he is, I probably just sunk this whole mission. The only way to find out is to go downstairs and see for myself_.

Upon arriving downstairs, prim and proper, he walked into the kitchen and jerked back in fear. Victor Nikiforov was sitting there silently, waiting for him but that wasn’t the worst of it… he had brought _a dog_. A big, Yuri-sized, standard poodle with a huge, grown-out, coat.

Everyone in the business world knew that bringing a dog to a negotiation was equivalent to walking in the door wearing your gun holster and a fully-loaded semi-automatic. In the world of business deals, it was seen as an unparalleled act of aggression, a shot under the belt, if you would.

“Come in, Yuri.” Victor invited as if there he hadn’t noticed the elephant in the room. The panting, drooling, elephant.

“You have a dog?” Was all Yuri said.

“Doesn’t it look like I do?” Victor countered. Yuri Didn’t respond. “Are you scared of dogs, Yuri?”

_Calm down._ Yuri told himself. _He’s testing me, but it’s not a form of aggression. He’s showing me something personal. He’s testing how I’ll react_. Yuri walked into the kitchen and began looking through the cupboards for his ingredients. “Does she like eggs benedict too?”

“ _He_.” Victor corrected. “His name is Makkachin.”

Yuri set a salt shaker on the counter and turned around to greet the dog. “Hello, Makkachin. Sorry, I won’t make the mistake again.” The dog didn’t growl at him so he chanced patting his head. Makkachin sprang up in excitement, spooking Yuri and making his draw back his hand quickly.

“Do you have something in your pockets? Food?” Victor asked curiously.

“No. Why?”

“It’s not like Makkachin to get worked up over nothing. He’s getting older now, he doesn’t have the energy.” Victor examined the dog. Yuri turned his pants pockets inside out and shrugged.

“He probably just wants to be friends.” He pet the dog one more time before turning his attention back to the cupboard. Victor contemplated silently for a minute.

“You know, I have cooks.” Victor said as Yuri started a small sauce pan on the stove.

“I don’t think they’ll mind taking the morning off.”

“It’s pointless, what you’re doing. Even if you cook a hundred of those things, Yurio and Yakov will still refuse to eat them. They’ll do it just to spite you.”

Yuri tisked. “ _Stubborn_. That’s fine, I’ll cook just for the fun of it.”

“Is that what they consider fun back where you’re from?”

“Firstly, ‘back where I’m from’ is Japan, and secondly, cooking _is_ fun. You would know that if you tried.”

“How do you know I can’t cook?”

“You wouldn’t be teasing me if you didn’t think it was silly. Come over here for a second and I’ll show you what I’m doing.” To his surprise, Victor actually got up from the table and stood behind Yuri, who explained everything smoothly as he separated egg yolks from the whites and set up the broiler to prepare the sauce. Yuri decided to test his luck and try to push into personal discussion.

“I always ate this as a kid. My dad took a business trip to Austria as a young man. That’s where he had eggs benedict for the first time. It’s been a staple in his life ever since. What about you, Victor? What did you eat growing up?”

Victor didn’t answer for a moment and Yuri feared he wouldn’t. Then quietly, he responded. “Borscht.”

“Ah! That’s delicious! And it can be made really cheaply. Do your parents cook?”

Yuri could tell by the silence that followed that he had over-stepped his boundary. What was more surprising yet was that Victor didn’t counter him with hostility, he just went back to the table and sat. The dog walked a circle near his legs then laid down. Yuri figured the only way he could fix the situation was to offer up more of himself.

“If you’re coming back to Hasetsu with me, you might as well know all about it.” Yuri spoke for a long time about his upbringing and his family. Everything he told Victor was true. As a part of his fake identity, he had been given a fake home and fake family but, for some reason, he wanted to tell the truth. He looked at Victor’s dampened form that sat quietly at the table. _It would be wrong to lie to him. He spoke to me honestly, even though it hurt him. I owe him this much_. “Hey, Victor.” He said.

The man looked up and met his eyes. “What?”

“Now that you mention it, I want to learn how to make Borscht. I’ve never made it before. Do you mind if I keep using the kitchen?”

Victor offered a thin smile. “As long as you don’t bother the staff.”

Yuri couldn’t say why but his heart skipped a beat and his mind whirred when Victor smiled at him. _He actually did it. He openly smiled at me. Not a malicious smile either but a, real, genuine, Victor Nikiforov, smile._ Yuri’s attitude visibly brightened. He finished preparing breakfast with a hop in his step. He served Victor, himself, and Makkachin, who inhaled his portion in a second flat.

Yuri looked around Victor’s cathedral as he ate. “That painting…Christina’s World, right? By… by Andrew…”

“Weyth.”

“That’s it! I recognize it from an art history class I took. That’s… that’s not the original, is it?”

Victor looked at the painting dreamily. “What I wouldn’t give to have the original. It’s a museum-quality replica. Normally, I’d never keep a fraud in my house but I couldn’t live without her.”

“Who?” Yuri looked from the painting to Victor then back to the painting.

“Christina.”

Yuri didn’t understand. _Is that how he sees himself? Stranded in a familiar place, his family and friends unreachable?_ He was intrigued. _I want to know him. Where do you come from, Victor? What’s your family like? What happened to make you so lonely? So insecure?_

“That one, there, that’s an original. View Of The Sea At Scheveningen by Vincent Van Gogh. That one next to it is one of his too.”

“You like Van Gogh?”

The man nodded. “I don’t let anything through the doors of this place if I don’t like it. It’s my haven.”

Yuri knew he shouldn’t feel personally complimented but he did. “How long have you been collecting?”

“Collecting what? Paintings? Sculptures? Tapestry?”

Yuri gestured to everything. “ _This_.”

“I had this place built three years but _this_ , _all of it_ , has been the work of many years. Do you like art, Yuri?

“Opera.” Yuri confessed. “I love the opera.”

Victor smiled again, thin and reserved. “Tell me about your first opera.” He said.

Yuri thought back and recovered the sweet memories. “It was Madama Butterfly. My grandfather brought me, he loved opera. We sat high up in the back of the theater where the seats were cheapest and you could hardly read the supertitles.  I had to sit up as straight as I could just to see the performers. I didn’t understand much of what they were saying but somehow, that didn’t matter.”

“How’d it make you feel?”

Yuri let his guard down. “ _I cried_. I remembered that I couldn’t stop, it was so embarrassing. Every time Ciocio-san would sing out in agony, it was like a nail being driven into my heart. I had read sad stories by the bookcase full but the opera was something different. Something… _more_. Like I finally knew what misery _sounded_ like and once I heard it, the sound wouldn’t leave my ears.”

Yuri looked up to find Victor giving Yuri a complete, unrestrained smile.  He nodded, and that was all. In that moment, the two men actually understood each other. Art was their common language, and they were finally speaking it.

Breakfast passed in silence but the two of them were content. Yuri put away his dishes once he had finished and left to take a walk. Immediately, the fresh air renewed him. In his imagination, the grand vibrato of an opera singer roared on, driving his mind to a blissful thoughtlessness.  As he walked down the road, it seemed the wind was swaying the trees and the world was corresponding to the music in his head. For the first time, he thought Russia was beautiful.

Yuri was only disturbed when he felt a cold, wet, nose poke at his lower back. He turned on his heal, assuming he was experiencing his first bear attack but was greeted instead by the massive standard poodle. His owner walked ten paces behind him. “You didn’t even wait for me to get my shoes on,” the silver man called out to him. Yuri stopped so he could catch up.

“I didn’t know you wanted to come.” He replied. Internally, he was glad to see Victor. He felt like he had created a bond between them, something genuine and friendly.

“I always walk in the mornings.” He met Yuri and they continued on together. The dog ran up ahead excitedly, smelling things and bouncing in the tall grass. “You shouldn’t walk alone. You don’t know what could happen.”

“Do you regularly have armed gunmen in the shrubbery around your home?”

Victor shrugged. “Sometimes. Mostly badgers and wolves and other scary things like that. I figured I ought to come keep an eye on you. I wouldn’t want a defenseless, little, city-dweller like you to run into a big, scary, animal.”

 Yuri chucked. “I appreciate your concern but we have big, scary, animals where I’m from too.”

“Is that so?”

“Mm-hm. Wild boars.”

“Pigs?”

“They’re not just pigs. They’re _boars_. Very scary, big difference. A boar scavenges in the wild and attacks without being provoked. A pig may act tough when it feels threatened but really, it just wants to have a good meal and take a nap.”

“ _Buta_ … That’s the word for pig in Japanese, isn’t it?” Yuri nodded. “ _Buta-chan_. That’s fitting, don’t you think?”

“For what?”

“You, of course.” Victor answered happily. Yuri turned to him with his brows furrowed but realized upon seeing Victor’s face that it was a joke, not an act of aggression. He played along.

“Code names? Sure, I’m for it. You can never be too careful, you never know who’s listening. But what should I call you? I know! How about yaytsoka (eggy)? With your hair line receding like that, it’s fitting, don’t you think?”

Victor could tease but he couldn’t handle being teased back. He glared. Unlike the day before, this expression didn’t intimidate Yuri. He smiled back. “No? You don’t like that one? Okay, how about Vitya?” That suggestion flustered Victor.

“That’s a lousy code name, it’s too obvious. Besides, that’s too informal. That’s a name for a child, not a business partner.”

_That’s why it’s so fitting_ , Yuri thought but he didn’t dare say it. “We don’t really need code names anyhow. This should be an easy deal to negotiate, don’t you think?”

Victor nodded. “Likely, this will go very smoothly.”

_Now_ , Yuri thought. _Now is my opportunity to do my job. I need information_. _Who is he working with and why? I need future deals… locations, times, details_. “Is this a busy season for you?” He asked.

Victor shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yes. The economy is tight and everyone does business when the economy is tight. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Yuri nodded. “What is you’re looking for again? Ruby?”

“Diamond.” Yuri corrected.

“Right, diamond. I can secure something for you, depending on what grade you’re looking for. I have a feeling I’ll have my hands on some uncut material soon enough. High quality, I assure you.”

“Where will they be coming from?”

“That’s the best part, Yuri. I recently made the acquaintance of a Swiss man of good repute who’s been mining at a site only a few miles from here. If I can persuade him to work with me, it’ll be the safest business deal I’ve ever conducted. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Who is this man?”

Victor looked at Yuri apprehensively. The Japanese man didn’t flinch. “I don’t discuss the personals of my business partners.”

“He’s my business partner too, I have the right to know who I’m working with. I’ll pull out of the deal if I can’t secure trust in my partner. Besides, if he’s really only miles away, I’ll likely make his acquaintance.”

Victor considered Yuri’s logic. “His name is Christophe Giacometti. You can search him if you like but you won’t find anything. I made sure to have his tracks cleaned up.”

“What is he like?”

“You’re not going on a picnic with him, Yuri. It doesn’t much matter what he’s like.”

“I think it matters a good deal. I always take into consideration the morality of my business partners.”

“Is that so? What do you think of me?”

Yuri looked to Victor, assuming this was another test but it was not. Victor looked ahead, unwilling to make eye contact and sporting a look of nervousness. _He really wants to know what I think of him… he actually cares_. Yuri put his words together carefully, knowing that Victor was listening closely to every syllable. “I don’t doubt your abilities when it comes to business. I have no qualms about relying on you for this deal.”

Yuri glanced at that man. _That’s not all. He doesn’t care about the deal, he wants me to evaluate him personally_. “I think I’ll enjoy working with you more than I have others in the past. You exert a nobility that’s incomparable, it’s fascinating. A man of the arts- a man who appreciates and lives by the beauty of the world- is always a better acquaintance than one who lives his life by and for superficial pleasures. Drug dealers are among these sorts of men. No class. They’re consumed by immediate satisfaction. I much prefer to spend my time in the company of someone who matches my wits.” Pinkness rose to Victor’s cheeks. Yuri saw this and decided to push a little farther. “It’ll be a great enjoyment to me to spend the next few months in the company of someone who I can speak of opera to and feel that I am understood.”

Victor was completely flattered. Yuri commended himself. _The tables have turned, Victor_ , he thought. _Now I’m the one who plays you like a fiddle_. Even though Yuri knew he had manipulated Victor, he was still genuine in his feelings towards the man. He had meant what he said. _I have to be careful. I want Victor to like me but I can’t get too attached. In the end, my job is to destroy him._

But Yuri already knew he was too attached. He wasn’t just _pretending_ to like Victor, he _did_ like Victor. He was already dreading the day when he would betray him. _I’m sorry, Victor_. Yuri peeked up to the tall, silver-haired man who took long, powerful, strides. For the first time, Yuri noticed how pretty he was. His hair reflected the sunlight with incredible luminescence. His form was so lean and sculpted. The nicely ironed lilac blouse he wore had just the right amount of femininity that it complimented his manliness when he wore it with confidence. He upheld quite an image for himself, almost as if he were a movie star.

  _I’m sorry for how much I’m going to hurt you. I’ll make sure your paintings are taken care of._ _Maybe then you can start to forgive me_. _And_ _I’ll make sure you’re not alone in prison. I know you probably won’t want to see me but I’ll be there anyway. I’ll bring you Borscht and the daily paper so you’re not so scared. I hope you’re not scared, Victor. I hope you can keep up this image of toughness that you wear so well. I hope I don’t ever have to see you reduced to tears. That would be too much._

The breeze swept through and Yuri realized there were two, cold, wet, trails down his cheeks. _Oh shit! Shit!_ Yuri hastily wiped the wetness away with his sleeve. _Why am I crying!? Dammit! Why!?_

Victor took notice. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“The breeze. Something got in my eyes.” Yuri excused. A second later, Victor had pulled Yuri’s hands away from his eyes. Yuri tried to take control of his arms back but Victor held them firm.

“Look at me.” Victor demanded, his voice cool and low.

Yuri’s cocoa eyes met the man’s ice blue ones. He found himself captured by their gaze. _No…_ Yuri thought. _No… why do I feel like this? Dammit._ His mind was dizzied with thoughts that scared him, about how connected he was with Victor when he looked into his eyes like this, about how concerned Victor was for him, about how he felt special.

“Look up.” Victor ordered. Yuri did.  _Oh god, please, take these feelings away from me. I don’t want them_ Yuri prayed. Victor released Yuri’s arms. “You look fine but let’s go home anyways. You should wash out your eyes just to be safe. They’re really red.”

Yuri’s heart beat faster than he was comfortable with. “Okay.”

Victor whistled to Makkachin who came bounding to his friend’s side. They walked back and Victor told Yuri about the many tricks the dog could perform. He’d often stop on the road to demonstrate, emphasizing over and over how Makkachin would do tricks without the motivation of a treat. He was truly proud of his pet. Yuri remembered how fond he had been of his miniature poodle, Vi-Chan, and it made him like Victor even more.  He tried to remind himself over and over that Victor was a heartless, manipulating, mob boss with blood on his hands and a rotten conscience. That was especially difficult when Yuri watched him pick up his ginormous pet and carry him, saying that Makkachin was old and tired and deserved to be carried.

When they arrived back at the house, Victor brought Yuri to the sink and showed him how to do it. Yuri washed his eyes in the sink under Victor’s supervision. The cool water helped to soothe his burning face. When he was done, Victor examined his eyes again and declared that everything was fine.

Yuri went back to his room, where Phichit was still asleep. He woke up when he heard Yuri come into the room. “Where have you been?” He asked.

“I made breakfast.”

“What did you make?”

“Eggs Benedict?”

“Was Victor there?”

“Mm-hm.” Yuri began to change out of his wet shirt and into a clean one.

Phichit scoffed. “I bet he didn’t even appreciate your amazing cooking skills.” Yuri laughed. “I mean it, Yuri. You should be a chef and keep your neck off the chopping block. This job’s not worth the pay.”

“Maybe when I retire.”

“So how are the Three Stooges?”

“It was just Victor. I think Yakov and Yurio have no interest in spending time with me.”

“No kidding, just Victor? Was that scary?”

“No, not really. We talked about opera.”

“Did you tell him about how you see Madama Butterfly every time it comes to Japan and how you bring your own tissues? Or about how you’ll go to business meetings and conventions you don’t want to go in foreign countries if an opera you want to see will be in town?”

“He likes opera too.” Yuri pointed out, buttoning up the new blouse.

“Hey! You should offer to take him to an opera! That would defiantly earn you some brownie points.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah! This is your opportunity to finally move past the first bad day.”

Normally, Yuri would agree right away but he had more to worry about now. _That just seems like an opportunity for me to get to like him more. On the other hand, he would almost certainly come to like me more as well. What if I could make him feel for me what I feel for him? I’d have him in the palm of my hand. I could get so much information out of him._

Yuri imagined that day again when Yuri and Phichit would give their government agency the go ahead to raid the house. They would drag Victor out onto the lawn, crying and fighting. The difference was that, this time, Yuri imagined that instead of being heartbroken over losing his precious chapel, his attention was focused on Yuri. He cried, saying, “How could you do this to me! Yuri! Say it’s all a joke, please! I loved you!”

Yuri became nauseous as the guilt sat as heavy as a rock in his stomach. “I don’t know if he’d want to see an opera with me.”

“Did you guys butt heads again?”

Yuri didn’t answer. “Hey, there’s a dog downstairs. I’m telling you so you won’t be caught off guard.”

“What kind?”

“Standard poodle.”

“Is it trained?”

“He sits, stays, and rolls over but I don’t think he’s an attack dog. I really think Victor keeps him just as a pet.”

Phichit laughed. “A big, tough, mob boss with a pet poodle. I bet he dresses the dog up and talks to it in a baby voice.”

Yuri smiled.  “We started talking business too. I got a supplier but no info on other deals yet. The supplier’s probably a good catch, though. It sounds like he’s mining raw diamond here in Russia. If we get him, we probably also get a big ring of middle-men.”

“Illegal mining’s a pretty low charge.”

“I know, but he might give up info on some of his business partners. Those guys have got their hands dirty in other businesses too. Those are the big fish. I’ll try to get something today to show the bosses we’re working and not just taking a vacation. I need you for backup.”

“Always!” Phichit grinned. “I’ve got your back.”

Yuri nodded. “I wouldn’t have taken this trip if they didn’t send you along as well.”

“You and me versus the world, isn’t that right?”

“Right.” Yuri trusted Phichit completely. He knew the boy would take a bullet for him and he would do the same. He sat beside Phichit on his bed and slung his arm around his shoulders.

“You okay, Yuri?”

“Why wouldn’t I be.”

“You seem… bothered. Is it Victor? Is he being cruel to you?”

“No…” He considered lying to Phichit but decided against it. _We’re partners. If we don’t have trust and honesty, we don’t have anything_. “He’s been nice to me…”

“Really?”

“Well, not necessarily nice but nice in Victor’s standards.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s not trying to dominate me anymore.” Yuri told Phichit about the walk they took together and about when Victor checked his eyes.

“That’s so unlike him!”

“I think the tough thing is a front. I figured him out, or at least a little bit. When I’m with him, he drops his guard a little bit. I think he trusts me.”

“Then why not take him to the opera?”

“Going to the opera… is a kind of romantic thing, don’t you think?”

“It wasn’t romantic when _we_ went together.”

“That was different, _I dragged you there_. It’s something else if you go with someone who loves the opera.”

“Hmm.” Phichit thought. “Do you think Victor swings that way?”

“How should I know?”

“It’s a worth a shot. If he takes it romantically, then that just makes our job easier. People spill their guts when they’re in love.”

“You want me to seduce him?”

“Who are we kidding, Yuri? You could do it in your sleep.”

Yuri blushed. “Those weren’t the orders.”

“Improvisation. You assess the situation and make your own decisions. You could do it, Yuri. He’s insecure and stubborn, that’s your specialty. Remember that kid Takeo? You worked wonders on him. He still loves you to this day.” Yuri didn’t respond. “I mean, it’s your decision. If you don’t think it’ll work, then you should trust your judgement.”

“I don’t know. He’s different from Takeo… _he’s a grown man_. What if he wants…”

“Sex? Don’t give it to him. Just lead him on. Or, I mean, you could sleep with him if you wanted to.”

Yuri got up from the bed, shaking his head. “Let’s not talk about this!”

“It’s been a while since you’ve gotten some action, hasn’t it? Four years, right? Or has it been five already? Even then, you guys didn’t really-“

“Stop! Stop, stop, stop!” Yuri boxed his ears.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Yuri.”

Yuri left the room, still red-faced and blocking his ears. A few feet down the hall, he ran into Victor who looked at him curiously. Yuri stared up at the man in awe. “You look like a school girl.” He noticed. Yuri scowled, embarrassed. “Are you and Fu-Han telling dirty stories? Look how red you are.”

“Don’t be like that.” Yuri retorted. “I’m feeling feverish.”

Victor enjoyed embarrassing Yuri. “Then you should take a nap. Maybe take your clothes off too to reduce your body temperature.”

Yuri rolled his eyes, no less red. “ _In your dreams_.”

Then Victor did something awful. He smirked and said in a low, cool, voice, “ _Indeed_.” Then he just turned and left, leaving Yuri frozen in shock.

_Indeed!? What does that mean!?_ Yuri wondered. When he regained control of his legs, he stumbled to the bathroom, locking the door behind him, and splashed cold water on his face. _Control yourself, Yuri! Don’t think about it! Don’t think about!_

The more he obsessed over not thinking dirty thoughts, the more they came to mind. He pictured the man’s nude form against silk bedsheets that ran over his skin like water.   _No! Stop that!_ Yuri thought, trying to disrupt the images. Still, his mind betrayed him and thoughts he despised ran through his imagination.

_I bet he plays opera when he makes love. I bet his moans are low and seductive. I bet he kisses gently and then, out of nowhere, bites your bottom lips. I bet his ass looks great when he thrusts. NO, NO, NO. You’re just horny, Yuri. Dammit, you’re horny and your mind’s fucked up because of that._

Yuri felt a hot tension in his groin. _Dammit_. He hit his head lightly against the wall. He contemplated whether he should fix the problem himself or ignore it in hopes of continuing his streak of denial. _It’s fine. I’ve done this a hundred times before. Sometimes it just builds up then you pop one out of nowhere. Yes, Victor set it off, but this isn’t his doing. Sometimes this just happens._

Yuri pulled his shirt up and held it in his mouth, his actions slow and hesitant _. It’s fine. Just take care of it and you can relax_ , he told himself. Yuri unzipped his pants and ran the back of his hand over his warming member through his underwear. He let out the breath he had been holding in. _It’s okay… just don’t think about him. You can’t do something like this thinking about him, that’s wrong._

Yuri closed his eyes and slipped his hand into his underwear, rubbing gently, trying to relax. _It’s fine, just think about something simple._ He continued to rub himself rhythmically and breathed steadily. All too soon, those startlingly blue eyes returned to his memory, making him gasp. They looked at him with interest and concern. He remembered admiring Victor’s form as he stood out in the sun, soaking up the morning. His lilac shirt, his relaxed demeanor, his genuine smile.

“ _No_.” Yuri drew his hand out of his underwear and zipped up his pants. “I can’t do it, _I can’t_.” Yuri rested his head against the wall. He was so frustrated he wanted to cry. “This isn’t right, _none of this is right_ ,” he whispered to himself. “I don’t want him in this way… I want something else. I want something… something… harder to satisfy.” Yuri couldn’t help that a few tears ran down his cheeks.

_Stop_ , he told himself, _Stop crying_. _What are you crying for? It’s only day two of this job, you can’t be losing it already. So stop this._ Yuri wiped his cheeks dry. _You’re weak. Why did everyone think you were the perfect one for this job. You’re the worst person they could’ve picked, you have too much empathy._

Yuri stood there with his head against the wall, feeling helpless, for at least ten minutes _. Even if I go back to Japan right now, I’ll still worry about him._

Yuri suddenly had the desire to call his mother. He knew he couldn’t and he didn’t know what he would say even if he could, he just felt like he needed her.  Maybe she could reassure him that he wasn’t a failure, like she always did.

When he was done crying, he cleaned himself up and went downstairs to find Phichit, his erection completely gone. Phichit spotted him and came to his side, noticing how he carried himself heavily. “You look tired.” He mentioned in Japanese.

“I know what you mean by that. I’m fine.” He responded. Phichit looked at him like he didn’t believe him. When they went to the living room, they exchanged looks with Yakov and Yurio who finally awake by noon. The old man wore a house robe and read the daily paper while the younger dressed in just a hoodie and jeans and worked on solving the crossword.  They both shot him cold, hostile, glares. Yuri was about to leave the room when he heard the younger yell out to him.

“Hey, Kuznetsov.” He said.

Yuri turned around. “Yeah?”

“Ever play the crossword?”

“Sure.”

“Seven letter phrase for someone who-“ he looked down at the paper and pretended to read off of it, “Sheds tears frequently or readily.”

Yuri considered it. “Cry baby?” Once he answered, he realized he had made a mistake. _Idiot_. He cursed himself. _Come on, you’re smarter than to fall for that_. He accepted his humiliation and left silently with Phichit in tow.

“Yuri, what’s going on? Have you been crying?” Phichit asked, speaking Thai. He was almost certain no one in the house but himself and Yuri spoke it.

“It’s okay, I’m fine.”

“We’re partners, you’re not allowed to lie to me. I want to know now so we can deal with it. You’re not going to go then next four months like this.”

“It’s…It’s hard to talk about it. I’m confused. _I_ don’t even know what’s going on.”

“Many hands lighten the load.” He said, smiling at Yuri in a way that comforted him.

“I feel something for Victor.” Yuri confessed. “I don’t know what. Yesterday, it was empathy and intrigue but today, it’s evolved.”

“For _Victor_? Is it like… romantic? Or friendly?”

“I don’t know. I really just don’t know.” Yuri replied helplessly.

“ _What’s this_?” Both of the Asian men looked to the doorway where Victor stood, looking unhappy.

“What do you mean?” Yuri asked, switching to Russian. He could tell that Victor was seriously pissed.

“ _What do you mean_ what do I mean? That wasn’t Japanese. What the fuck was that?”

“Thai.” Yuri was frightened but he did his best to fake a confident face.

“ _I heard my fuck’n name_.” Victor growled. “What were you guys talking about?”

_Shit_ , Yuri thought. “We were talking about the paintings. The Van Goghs.”

“Well, that’s nothing to be secretive about, is it? So why speak Thai? If there’s nothing to hide, then why not speak Russian or Japanese or English?”

“Fu-Han is Thai. It’s the language he’s most comfortable with.” Yuri explained.

Victor turned his attention to Phichit. “You told me he only speaks Japanese.”

“I never told you that, you _assumed_ that.”

“So what languages _does_ he speak?” Victor’s irritation had not lessened any.

“Thai and Japanese, that’s it.”

“ _Listen here, Yuri_.” Victor approached the smaller man and prodded a finger into his chest. Yuri didn’t flinch. “You speak common languages in my house. Russian, Japanese, and English, _that’s non-negotiable_. Do you understand? Next time I hear a language other than those three, I’ll consider it an act of aggression and I’ll respond accordingly.” His glare pierced Yuri.

He removed his finger and stood up strait, regaining his powerful posture. “Explain that to him,” he ordered, nodding to Phichit who was going a good job of acting confused.

Yuri repeated the threat in Japanese. Phichit offered a brief apology.

 Victor nodded in approval. “I hope this is the last time I have to address you like this. I prefer to keep in good terms with my business partners and I’m sure you feel the same.” As was Victor’s habit, he left once he had given his final statement. That way, he always won his arguments.

Yuri glared at Victor’s back, irritation bubbling in his stomach. “What I said earlier… I don’t think we have to worry about that for a while. None of that applies right now.”  He mumbled in Japanese to his friend.

“For your sake, I hope he’s a dick more often.” Phichit answered.

“I need to take a walk.” Yuri declared, going for the door.

“I’m coming.” Phichit responded, following him.

They spent the whole walk speaking in Thai, criticizing Victor for everything they could think of until the idea of sleeping with Victor was less enticing and Yuri could finally relax.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment to let me know your guys' opinions on chapter summaries. Personally, I don't see much of a point in them but if you guys prefer them, I can start including them. Thanks.

“I saw in the paper that the Moscow Opera is performing Eugene Onegin.” Yuri said, approaching Victor as the man scribbled into a notebook. The moon had risen over his cathedral and the whole house was quiet except the two who remained together on the porch. Yuri sat down beside Victor on an authentic set of Victorian chairs. After the walk with Phichit earlier that day, Yuri had calmed down and forgiven Victor’s absurd offense over using only common languages in the house. Yuri’s patience had healed.

“This I know.” Victor answered and continued writing in his book.

“I came to invite you to see it with me, tomorrow night at eight.”

“You _invite_ me?” He looked up and met Yuri’s eyes. It was late at night and Victor was tired and messy. Yuri though he looked quite docile, almost domestic, and pretty like that.  “Do you mean you want me to go with you? You don’t _invite_ me places because you can’t go anywhere without me. If you wish, you may _implore_ me.”

Yuri tried not to laugh at his pettiness. He knew that Victor would be offended if he laughed. “Well then, I _implore_ you to come to the opera with me.”

Victor smiled, pleased. “Go to the opera with you?”

“Yes. It’s in Russian. That’s one of our common languages, isn’t it? So that means it’s not against the rules.”

The man rolled his eyes. “Is _that_ what this is about? Yuri, you don’t have to try and mend broken bonds or anything stupid like that. It’s fine. Over and done.”

Yuri laughed lightly. Victor was surprised by the soft melody of his laugh. “I know, I was just joking.”

He looked back to his work. “If it was a just a joke, then you can leave me alone now. You ought to go to bed.”

“Sure, but give me your answer first so I know if I have to try to sell the tickets before I fall asleep.”

He surprised the man again. “You really bought tickets?”

Yuri nodded.

Victor smirked. “Taking someone to the opera is a romantic gesture, you know.”

“Interoperate it however you want.”

“What if I want to interoperate it as an act of hostility?”

“Then I will do my best to act coldly towards you the whole night.”

“And what if I should like to interoperate it romantically?”

Yuri shrugged. “You’re probably a better judge of these things than I am.”

“Are you asking me on a date, Yuri Kuznetsov?”

“If I phrase it like that, will you be more inclined to agree?”

“Give it a shot and I’ll make my decision then.”

“Okay.” Yuri straightened his posture. “Victor, will you be my date to the opera?”

“Will you wear a dress?”

“Now you’re asking too much.”

He laughed. “Fine, I accept. Eight o’clock you said?”

Yuri nodded. “Eight o’clock.”

“Should I dress up?”

He looked Victor up and down. The man had his button-up untucked from his slacks and the first two buttons had been undone. He had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and his hair was a mess. “What you’re wearing now is fine.”

Victor glanced at his outfit and smiled. “You’ll get what you asked for.”

“What are you working on?”

“Just business.”

“Anything interesting.”

“ _Well aren’t you nosy_.” Yuri could tell from his tone that Victor was amused, not annoyed.

“All good news?” Yuri pushed.

“What do you think?” He held up the notebook. Yuri’s eyes quickly darted over it, grappling at information.

“I can’t really tell in this lighting.” He said. Victor tossed the book into Yuri’s lap and sat back, closing his eyes. Yuri read over the words carefully, soaking everything into his memory. “Are all these deals for _this week_?” He asked.

The man nodded. “You’re not my only partner. It’s a busy season.”

“Geez. Is all this material coming from that miner in Russia? Christophe?”

“I better be or I’m in a lot of trouble.”

“You don’t have him on board yet?”

“He’s stubborn. He knows how much his diamonds are worth and he wants every penny of it.”

“But he won’t just sell them on his own?”

“Ha! He doesn’t have the balls to get his hands dirty in the business world. He’s only seen the inside of a mine for the past six years, he wouldn’t know how to swim in the real world. Without me, he’s just a bum who chips rocks out of a cave.”

“And without me, you’re just a bum with a big bag of rocks.”

“Don’t get big-headed, Yuri. I just said you’re not my only partner, didn’t I?”

“But I’m your most important, aren’t I?”

“Why would you think that?”

“I don’t see your other partners living with you in your home.”

“ _Ahhh_ , you got me. I did chose to bring you here.”

“Why?”

Victor contemplated the question for a while. “I get so bored here. You seemed interesting. I thought you might be my intellectual equal or at least, something to play with for a while.”

“I hope I haven’t disappointed you.”

“You have proven to be good conversation but you’re difficult to trick. You’re clever and you respond to threat with wit. My other business partners become fearful and defensive when threatened. You’re fun in your own way but harder to understand. I find that my mind is tired after being with you.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“That depends on how you perceive it. Whatever it is, it’s the truth and that’s all that matters.”

Yuri nodded in agreeance. “We’re being honest from now on?”

“I _have_ been honest with you.”

“The car bomb?” Yuri reminded him

“ _Ahh_ , you got me again. Okay, _that_ was a trick. To be fair, I play that trick on everyone.”

“For what purpose?”

“To test courage, loyalty, and observation.”

“How’d I do?”

“High marks.”

Yuri laughed. “That’s a cruel test. Couldn’t you have just handed out a questionnaire?”

“Everyone lies on paper. The only way to really test someone is to put them in a telling situation. You surprised me more than any of the others, though. I’ve had others try to alert me before but none ever with such dedication. Didn’t you hurt yourself?”

He was embarrassed. “It was only a temporary pain. I haven’t developed any bruises or fractures.”

“You’re a kind person on the inside.”

“Thank you.”

“That’s a hindrance in our line of business. I don’t understand how you’ve managed to keep alive. Are you just nice to people until they give you what you want?”

“It’s not that simple. You have to play your cards right.”

“Are you playing me, Yuri?” Yuri was surprised to see genuine concern on the man’s face.

“Yes… But I’m not dishonest in my kindness or my loyalty or my affection. I’m only playing you because you are demanding it. You test me. You continuously try to push me and you seek out my flaws. When you learn to trust me, we can quit playing each other.”

Victor didn’t respond. They sat on the porch and looked out at the fireflies that flickered in the long grass. The bushes rustles, owls shrieked, and elks mewed. Above everything, the cicadas and the grasshoppers sang their love songs in an incessant ocean of buzzing. Yuri looked at Victor who was watching the black horizon of trees. The man’s face was illuminated only by the small lamps on the porch. He felt affection for him. He looked so calm, so approachable. His messy hair and undone shirt reassured Yuri that he was human, not the intimidating mob machine that he had first met.

“Victor…” Yuri said under his breath. Those bright blue eyes shifted to lock with his.

“Yes?”

“I…I love this. It’s so beautiful.”

Victor smiled. “I know. I love it too. This is how I remain alive. The world we live in, Yuri, it kills people. It turns happy children into worriers and it makes haters out of the innocent. I can’t stand it. This place is the only way I can retain a soul.”

“It’s lonely.”

“Not right now, it’s not.”

Yuri was glad for the darkness because it hid the pinkness that had risen to his cheeks. He couldn’t help but smile. _Why did we have to meet like this?_ He wondered. _I like you… In any other situation, I think we could make this work. I think we could’ve worked this out and been happy but… you’re my enemy…_

He sat there with Victor, listening to the nothingness until drowsiness took him over. He was lulled to sleep by the steady buzzing of the bugs and the thumping of his warm heart.

He awoke rather suddenly a few hours later to find the world just as still and welcoming as it had been before he dozed off. He was covered in a quilt and Victor was still sitting beside him. “I fell asleep.” He said, his voice tired.

“There you go again with telling me things I already know.” Victor answered quietly.

“What time is it?” Yuri’s hair had become a mess. His bangs fell in front of his eyes and pieces stuck up wildly.

“It’s probably around 2 in the morning.”

“Wh-Where are my glasses…” He looked around for the tell-tale, blue-rimmed glasses.

“You don’t wear glasses.” The man reminded him.

“Where are my-“ He paused and realized he had let something slip. He reverted to honesty. “Yes, I do. I just wear contacts during the day because glasses make you look disabled and weak.”

“ _Ahhh, I see_. Then this will be our little secret. We wouldn’t want you looking disabled and weak, would we?”

Yuri shook his head tiredly. “I want to go to bed.”

“You know where it is.”

He shook his head again. “All the lights are out. I navigate the house by the artwork on the walls.”

“Then turn on the lights as you go.”

“I’ll wake up Yurio and Yakov and they’ll hate me.”

“Word of advice: don’t try to win their favor, you won’t get anywhere.”

Yuri just looked at Victor sleepily. “But…I want them to be my friends.”

“Fine. I guess I can’t scold you for trying.” Victor stood up. “Come on, I’ll lead you back to your room. I should be turning in for the night anyways.”

Yuri lazily got up and followed Victor into the house, the blanket still bundled around him.

“Don’t trip,” Victor warned Yuri just as he stubbed his toe coming into the house. Victor laughed and Yuri grumbled. The taller man led on. “Do you think you’re going to make it?”

“I don’t know. I’ll probably live through it but the toe might fall off during the night.”

“Well, if you get out of a business deal only one toe short, I consider that a good trip.”

“This is the first I’m hearing of you being an optimist.”

“I’m always optimistic.”

“Sure, Victor.”

When they got upstairs, Yuri grabbed into Victor’s sleeve. Even with his eyes strained, he couldn’t see anything but the faint indicators of walls. Victor took him to his door and opened it for him. A little bit of light flooded out of the room. Phichit had left a lamp on for Yuri, expecting that he would come back late.

With the new light, Yuri could see Victor’s face. He looked so different, so friendly and approachable. “This is your stop.” He said. “Get some sleep.”

Yuri nodded, a brief gesture of thanks. He took a step into the room and tried to let go of Victor’s sleeve only to find that the roles had reversed. Victor was holding his sleeve instead. “Oh, and one more thing, Yuri,” He pulled the boy back and pressed their lips together. There was no malicious intent in this kiss. It was gentle and honest. Yuri felt the warm, wet, lips move along his own for a few seconds then they were gone. “ _Goodnight._ ” The man said. He let go of his sleeve and left, quick to disappear into darkness.

Yuri leaned back against the doorframe and watched him leave. A low breath escaped him. “Dammit… I want you…” He whispered once the man was out of sight. “Please…just be anyone but Victor Nikiforov. That’s all I wish for. Otherwise… this can’t work out happily.”

He dragged himself to his bed and fell asleep almost instantly, his whole body at easy and his mind content.

When he woke up in the morning, his mind still had an ample supply of happiness. He hugged his pillow and cuddled into it affectionately. He knew he shouldn’t have let himself feed on that kind of happiness but the temptation to feel good was just too great. When he remembered that they were going to the opera together that night, he just about laughed from the joyfulness and absurdness of his situation.

He got out of bed and went to the shower. He considered touching himself to help him settle down but he didn’t have the right mindset for it. He was full of giddiness and satisfaction, not lust and need. Suddenly, he recognized his own desire to look attractive. It hadn’t mattered much before. Prettiness was just part of the job. He always had to look attractive and respectable but now more than ever, he wanted to make sure Victor thought he looked good.

_This is stupid_ , a voice in the back of his head told him. _You’re making everything worse by acting like this is real. Don’t forget who you are and who he is. Don’t forget wat you have to do and how this is going to end._ Yuri didn’t have the attention span to listen to that voice.

He got out of the shower and looked himself over in the mirror. He had a few things he didn’t like about himself but for the most part, he approved. He dressed in a salmon-colored button-up and brown slacks, an outfit he had received compliments for. We dried and fixed his hair then went downstairs to find everyone gone but himself and Phichit. “Where is everyone?”

Phichit shrugged. “They went to talk business for something. Or…they bugged the place and now they’re sitting in a van somewhere watching us.” He said jokingly. Yuri came over to the table where his friend sat eating a stack of pancakes drenched in a berry syrup. He sat down across from him.

“Okay, let’s use code words. ‘Cat in heat’ means Yurio, ‘dry prune face’ means Yakov, and ‘baldy’ means Victor.” Yuri suggested. The two of them laughed. Yuri suddenly smelled the stack of pancakes. “ _Mmmm_ ~ Where’d you get that?”

Phichit swallowed a big lump of pancake. “The cooks made them.”

“I’m jealous! Let me have some!” Yuri tried to reach in with his fingers and Phichit batted him away with the fork.

“Get your own!”

“But I want _those_!”

“Back off! Shouldn’t you be watching your figure anyhow? You know you put on weight easily and you haven’t been doing a great job since getting here. You had third and fourth helpings at that huge dinner then you made eggs benedict. For shame, Yuri.” He teased.

“It’s not my fault that I like good food!”

Phichit shrugged. “The job comes first, right?”

Yuri grumbled bitterly. _“I love my job_.”

“We’re living the dream. Every little boy and girl wishes they could be spies and secret agents.”

“Only because they don’t know what this job really is. You spend your time pretending to like assholes and trying to be pretty while you do it.”

“Speaking of that, how are things with Victor?”

“Much better and worse than you’d expect.”

“Did you ask him to go to the opera with you?”

“Yes.”

“Was he still all, ‘ _Only speak common languages in my house!_ ’ or was he calmed down?”

“He was calmed down.”

“So, did he agree to go to the opera with you?”

“Yeah.” Yuri put his head down on his arms.

“Yeah what, Yuri? _I need details_.”

“We’re going… but as a date.”

“ _Are you serious_?” Phichit dropped his fork.

Yuri nodded.

“You guys are _dating_!?”

“We’re going on a date but it’s not really dating. It’s not even much of a date.”

“How is this not much of a date!?”

“We’re not going because we have romantic feelings for each other and we want to further our relationship.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Yuri was red up to his ears. “Yes! When he suggested we make it a date, he said it in a joking way. It’s just going to be a fun outing.”

“It doesn’t sound like a joke.”

“You weren’t there! You didn’t hear the conversation! It was defiantly very casual and fun. It’s not _really_ a date, I promise.”

“Yuri… I’m worried.”

“Why?” He lifted his head. “Don’t you think I can handle this?”

“Don’t give me that, Yuri. You know I think you’re the most capable agent in the world. It’s just... I see you falling in love and it worries me. You know, this mission either ends up with him behind bars or you dead. I don’t know how this can go well.”

“I’m not falling in love. Love is a big word. I just… I have affection for him. Just like with Takeo, only slightly elevated because he’s, well, you know, a grown man. I’m still a professional. I can still do my job.”

“It’s not the mission I’m worried about, _it’s you_. How will you be once squat raids this place? That’s going to be really hard on both of you. And if you think he’s still going to want to be with you from behind bars, you’re delusional.”

“ _I know_.” Yuri growled. “I’m not going to try to marry him or anything. I just…”

“You just _what_?”

“I just have to be careful and use this situation to my advantage.”

“ _That’s right_. And remember, I’m here for you, Yuri. I’ll always be on your side.”

“Thank you.” He smiled at his friend. “But if you really love me, you’ll let me have some of your pancake.”

Phichit pushed the plate towards Yuri who dug in immediately, eating with his fingers. “Sure, but it’s your gut you have to answer to.” Yuri continued without a care.

“Oh, hey,” He remembered. He could hardly talk with his mouth full of food. “I got some good info last night. It’s in the bedside drawer. You can send it out when me and Victor are away.”

Phichit patted his friend on the back. “ ‘Atta boy! Who are the best secret agents in the world?”

“ _We are_.”

“Right! We work faster and more effectively than anyone in the whole program!”

Yuri chuckled and continued to eat. A few seconds later, the front door opened and the Russians returned. Yuri looked over his shoulder at them, his fingers covered in syrup as he lifted a bite of pancake to his mouth. He halted when met Victor’s shocked face. Yurio and Yakov rolled their eyes and snorted.

“A crybaby _and_ a pig.” The younger commented. They both made hasty exits to the porch where they could be free of such barbarity. Victor approached the two coolly, hands in pockets.

“Enjoying yourself?” He asked, looking down at Yuri.

The boy licked his lips clean and nodded.

“If you want those two to like you, you should stop being yourself in front of them. This is the sort of thing I mean. They don’t like seeing you being comfortable in their territory.” He took Yuri’s hand and brought it to his mouth, eating the bit of pancake and subsequently sucking on Yuri’s fingers. He chewed and let go of Yuri’s hand which fell slowly back to the table.  “Get your shoes on. Makkachin needs to go on a walk.”

 He left.

Yuri slowly looked over to Phichit who was almost as surprised and flustered as he was. “I guess you should get your shoes on.” He said.

Yuri nodded and went to get his shoes. He walked with Victor. They were happy together. They talked about opera and they laughed together. They shared stories and made small talk about the weather. _If you weren’t you and I weren’t me_ , he thought, _I’m sure we could be friends_. _I’m sure of it, Victor. You would be a treasured friend of mine. You could even be something special to me._

The idea of that magic fairy land filled Yuri with delight. He fanaticized about a world where they carried through their business deal then retired to Hasetsu and never dabbled in illegal activity again. Yuri imagined how fun it would be to go to the hot springs together. He imagined walking to the convenience store and showing Victor all the foreign snacks. They would go to see the seasonal performances, make snowmen in the winter, and visit the temples. Yuri had a whole photobook in his head of moments that never occurred.

Back at home, Yuri sat on the rug of the living room and pet Makkachin for hours, day dreaming all the while. At one point, he fell asleep on the carpet beside the pet. Victor found him and woke him up, reminding him to keep his guard up in front of Yurio and Yakov lest he spend the next for months detested by them. Upon Victor’s request, Yuri read aloud from a book of Japanese haikus he had brought along with him. Victor sat comfortably in a red-velvet chair and watched as his beloved boy laid across his pet’s stomach and recited beautiful verses of poetry.

Yuri flipped the page. “ _Ah_ , I love this one. Ready?”

“Ready.” Victor answered, content.

“The chestnut shells break  
Under my weighted step  
I walk to the moon

My darling holds me  
And makes my poor heart wholesome  
I walk to the moon

A great white oyster  
Sits upon the horizon  
The great white dream above”

He closed the book but kept his finger wedged in the page. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

The silver-haired man nodded and smiled.

“You look tired. Am I boring you?”

“No. I’m just relaxed, is all. Go ahead, read more. Finish your book.”

Yuri opened the book again and continued to read. Victor sat back and enjoyed. When the book was finished, Yuri got up and stretched. “Is that all?” Victor asked.

“Mm-hm.”

“Stay. Read another. I have plenty of books.”

Yuri looked at the clock. “There’s something even better waiting for us.”

Victor read the clock then peered outside. “ _It’s dark out_.” He noted in amazement.

“There you go again, telling me things I already know.” Yuri said, throwing Victor’s words back at him. The man gave him a sly smile that said _‘how clever’_. Yuri loved it. He went upstairs to prepare.

_Why does this situation have to be so backwards?_ He wondered, changing his shoes. _Imagine if we could just drop everything. Nationalities, affiliations, professions, teams… what if we could just drop that and be ourselves. I think… I think we could actually be happy._

_No, stop that, Yuri. You’ve only known him for three days. Feelings like this never develop so quickly, especially between people who started as enemies. But…Victor is different…we just get each other. I mean, when he’s not being insufferable. And he only acts like a jerk when he thinks he has something to prove. He’s been different recently._

Yuri tried to knock some realities into himself. _What do you want, Yuri? You want him to be your boyfriend? How’s that supposed to work? First of all, he’s a renowned precious mineral trafficker with a mob to instill his authority. Secondly, you don’t even know that he wants that too. Maybe he just wants a fuck buddy. Thirdly, have your forgotten that you’re not really Yuri Kuznetsov, businessman and entrepreneur? In four months, you’re going to make a phone call back to headquarters and get his ass dragged to a high-security prison where he’ll be given a death sentence. That’s a pretty shitty love story._

Despite the hard dose of reality, fantasy managed to float back in and cloud his judgement. _But I like him and he likes me too, I think. And we get along like we were meant to find each other. Why shouldn’t I have this? Fate put me in the right place at the right time. I want him. I want his silver hair, his lean form, his gentle smile, his stubbornness. I want this…_

Of course, the fantasy won over in the end. Yuri fixed his hair then slipped on a jacket and left. He met Victor at the door with a discrete smile. “Should I check for bombs?” He asked.

“Nah, I figure we’ll just start up the engine and find out like that.”

Yuri laughed. They arrived at the theater twenty minutes before show time and got settled in their seats. Victor frowned when he saw their placement in the back of the stadium. “The cheap seats?” He asked in disgust.

“This is all that was available one day before opening night. Don’t complain. These seats are just as good as any others.”

“If you really believe that, then you’ve never sat in the good seats before.”

That wasn’t necessarily true. Yuri had sat in expensive seats before but probably nothing that compared to Victor’s V.I.P standards. “Where’s your favorite place to sit?”

“The boxes.” He said, referring to the plush, exclusive, coves that lines the walls surrounding the stage.

“Can you even see well from there?”

“You’ve never sat in the box? Well, I’d offer to treat you some time but I think I might put your love of opera in jeopardy. You would never see the cheap seats the same.”

“You’re so thoughtful.” Yuri joked.

“I know, I know, it’s a flaw.”

“Have you seen Eugene Onegin before?”

“Several times. You?”

“Not in person, no.”

“Then I predict that we will leave this theater with you crying like a baby.”

“Promise you won’t say anything about it. You’ll hurt my pride.”

He laughed. “Just make sure you’re dry-eyed before you see Yurio next or that Crybaby nickname won’t go away.”

“I have a feeling I can make him like me. I know he doesn’t care about my opinion so I have to make being friendly seem like it’s his idea.”

“If you can figure it out, do the world a favor a write a manual. Too many people have lost limbs by getting on his bad side.”

“How old is he?”

“Sixteen now.”

“Isn’t that too young for this line of work?”

Victor nodded. “But hell, we’re all too something for this line of work. Too young, too tired, to kind, too bitter, too hopeful, too _something_. The only person fit for this job is Satan himself.”

Yuri was stunned into silence for a few moments. “That was rather poetic of you. Did you read that somewhere or did you come up with it off the top of your head?”

“You offend me. Don’t you think I can be clever too?”

“Of course but-“ Yuri was cut off when the orchestra struck up a medley. Both their attentions went immediately to the stage. The music filled the theater like the breath of God. All at once, they were transported to a beautiful, melodic, world where fate flowed through song.

Yuri couldn’t get enough. He sat forward in his seat with his spine straight to get the best view he could. Victor, on the other hand, laid back in relaxation, even going to far as to close his eyes sometimes. The two had their own styles of watching but when it came to listening, they both gave their hearts over to the music, letting themselves get swept under by the bassoons and elevated by the oboes.

_What a horrible trick of fate_. Yuri thought as he watched Tatiana furiously pour her heart out into a letter of confession to Eugene _. She loves so purely, no motive attached, only honest dedication. Yet he will reject her and resign her to misery. Then, when they meet again years later, he’ll be hopelessly dedicated to her but she’ll have already given her hand away in marriage. She has a good heart that has remained pure since childhood. She cannot be unfaithful to her husband so she must turn the poor Eugene away, even though he grovels at her feet for her affection. How sad…two people meant to fall madly in love with each other but destined never to be together._

_Why would fate give someone such a perfect temptation if they could not be satisfied? It’s just cruel. The wrong place, wrong time, wrong situation… yet, none-the-less, there is a pure, non-apologetic love. A beautiful flower that blooms in the wreckage of war. A moment of détente._

For the first time, Yuri took his eyes from the stage and glanced to the man who sat beside him to find that those blue eyes were looking back at him and they were _smiling_ at him. In the dim light, Yuri could make out that soft smile, that smile that made his heart swell with hopefulness.

Yuri took his mind away from the present for a moment and prayed silently with complete humbleness. _God, if you listen to sinners like me, then please hear this prayer. Please, give me a chance. Give me a chance to make this work. I don’t want the bitter and cruel fate that we’re destined to meet. Please… make this moment last the rest of my life._


	4. Chapter 4

Victor pushed Yuri up against the wall and mashed their mouths together, gums rubbing, tongues mingling, and their breath clashing. Yuri was completely caught up in the heat of the moment. His heart pulsed so heavily that the beating rung though his ears like a drum. The warmth in his body was so intense, it was numbing. His hands clung to Victor’s shirt desperately so that he could be sure that the object of his desire was tight in his grip.

The two men panted but didn’t stop. Victor fumbled with the zipper of Yuri’s pants which just wouldn’t cooperate. The frustration drove him to bite the smaller man’s bottom lip, demanding that he do something about the problem. Yuri emitted a small whine of surprise but complied anyhow, going for his zipper and pulling it down in one try. Immediately after, his hand was pushed away and the Russian took over again.

Yuri began moaning even before he was touched, desperate for the attention. “ _Victor_ ,” he whined. The man took hold of the back of Yuri’s neck with a powerful hand and began to press kisses over the sensitive flesh. Yuri’s mind buzzed. “ _Nnnn_ ,” He moaned.

He tilted his head back and gave Victor access to his whole self, holding nothing back. The sound of Victor’s kisses rose up to his ears and made the heat in his stomach grow more intense. A moment later, a warm hand was slid under his underwear, causing him to gasp and his knees to buckle. He felt Victor’s finger tips travel along his shaft. Yuri trembled at the touch. The kisses on his neck increased.

Yuri opened his eyes to see Victor looking back at him, watching his reaction. Without commenting on the obviously discomposed Yuri, he went back to the man’s neck, sucking to create marks of passion. The hand became more liberal as well, grasping Yuri and sliding up and down his length a few times slowly.

Yuri responded by letting out broken moans and holding onto his lover tightly. He tried to think back to how the situation came about.

He remembered that they had been watching the opera and then, when they left their seats during the intermission, he had lead Victor to an isolated cove in the theater and kissed him. Not just a peck but a kiss of devotion. He had held the man’s collar and conveyed his deep desire, matching their lips to each other’s and pushing his tongue inside the other’s mouth. He didn’t quite remember what had given him that courage or made him lose his good sense. He supposed that the opera had dredged up all the romanticism his soul could contain and it overwhelmed him to the point that he couldn’t help but give Victor the affection he had been holding back.

_I was so full…so full of love. My heart’s desire was finally more potent than my conscience. Opera does that to me… but that wasn’t just it. I wouldn’t have acted that way if I were seeing it with Phichit. No, I wouldn’t act that way for anyone but Victor. He creates this desire in me, the opera just drove it out._

Yuri released a lustful moan as Victor’s hand began tugging at his erection in a more forceful way. His panting mouth was covered by Victor’s and Yuri felt a tongue playing along the roof of his mouth. The sensation was so satisfying. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been kissed so passionately.

Yuri slid his hand up to the back of Victor’s head. He buried his fingers in the man’s soft hair and closed his grip, pulling lightly. Victor rewarded him with a grunt of pleasure. They pulled away from each other slowly and looked into each other’s eyes. Yuri realized then that they hadn’t said anything to each other since leaving the theater. The drive home was silent, partially in homage to the beauty of the opera and partially because each of them were waiting only until they got home to satisfy their desires. As soon as they were upstairs, they were in Victor’s room and the lustful encounter had begun as if each of them were satisfying a burning itch.

Yuri looked into Victor’s eyes. There was a wildness in them that had been ignited by the heated touches and deep kisses. As Victor continued to focus into those deep, brown, orbs, he regained himself and the wildness dissolved into gentleness. “ _Victor…_ ” Yuri said softly. “ _What are we doing?”_

The implication that Yuri disapproved of their passion made Victor defensive. He put on his tough façade, jerking Yuri’s penis hard. “ _You know what we’re doing_.” He answered.

The smaller man let out a sharp gasp then glared back at his lover until Victor’s expression was apologetic. “ _I’m serious_.”

“You want to stop?” Victor asked, wounded and confused.

“If we go anymore, we’ll go all the way.” Yuri pointed out. Victor shrugged. It was true, he had been expecting a long, passionate, night with Yuri under the sheets but it embarrassed him to admit that because apparently, Yuri wasn’t thinking the same thing. “If something like this happens between us… I don’t think it should be like this.”

The man looked around the room, confused. “Like what?”

“An act to satisfy a stiff dick. This may be normal for you but for me…” Yuri looked away, embarrassed. “Doing stuff like this is really intimate. I can’t just _do_ it.”

“You think I’m not an intimate person?” Victor accused, sounding offended.

“You take all your business to bed, remember? You told me that yourself.”

He rolled his eyes. “That time was different.”

“How?”

“This is… _more_. It happened on its own, not because one of us was trying to play the other.”

“How do I know you’re not playing me?”

That statement hurt Victor and as always, he responded to hurt with anger. “What are you so afraid of, Yuri? I’m horny and you obviously are too or else you wouldn’t be leaking all over my hand. It’s a simple equation.”

Yuri scowled and removed Victor’s hand from his member. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“What? Do I have cooties of something? Do you want me to get tested and have the results laminated?”

“ _You’re being an asshole right now, Victor_.”

“You think _I’m_ playing _you_? If anything, _you’re_ the only playing mind games here. You started this whole thing during intermission and I’m certain that up until now, you were loving it. Then you have the _audacity_ to accuse _me_ of playing _you_!? Do you really think that’s all we have? _A game?_ ”

“Victor!” The smaller scolded.

“Well, if it’s still just a game to you, Yuri, then what are you so afraid of!? I’m horny, you’re horny. What more do you want!?”

“ _I want a partner that I love!_ ” Yuri answered. “I can’t do this sort of thing without love, _I just can’t_ , and I don’t think either of us are ready to throw out that word.” Emotion dampened Yuri’s voice but he refused to cry. Victor’s maliciousness was like a flame that had just been drowned. “ _Do you understand?_ If we do this and I can’t be sure that we love each other, I’ll wake up hating myself. Call it weak or unprofessional or whatever, _I just can’t_.”

Victor looked to Yuri and slowly, he returned to his docile self. The smaller man excused himself to the bathroom, pushing past Victor and leaving. The door smacked shut behind him. Guilt wallowed in Victor’s stomach. “ _God, I’m so stupid_.” He groaned to himself, massaging his temples. “He’s going to hate me…”

Victor’s attitude changed. “ _Fine, let him hate me_. See if I care. This is just a business deal. I can be satisfied whenever I want, I don’t need you.” He said, speaking to the door Yuri had closed behind him. “I can buy girls and boys by the dozens. I can have new partners every night. And they’ll all be prettier than you. They won’t be so whiny. They’ll get down on their knees and beg to be my partner, Yuri. You think you’re too good for me? You think you’re hot shit, don’t you? You think you’re so pretty?”

He remembered looking at Yuri in that theater when the lighters were low and tears were glistening on the younger man’s cheeks. He remembered those few walks they took together under the morning sun, that clever tongue, those curious eyes, the beautiful haikus he read aloud, the look of his sleeping face. Victor’s anger melted and he felt as though he wanted to cry. “I’m sorry… _they’ll never be prettier than you_. Please… Yuri… don’t hate me…”

In the bathroom, Yuri tugged on his erection and cursed Victor. “He’s so fucking stupid.” He whispered to himself. “That fucking idiot! It’s all about getting what you want, isn’t it? You were horny, I made a bad decision and the doors were opened for you to just have a field day with me.”

Yuri remembered back to the theater. Victor had been genuine when he smiled at him then. He had been genuine when he kissed him the night before and when he had listened lovingly to the poems. Yuri sighed, admitting to himself that he had made a mistake. _No… Victor may act insensitive but he’s not like that. He’s sincere._ He thought. _The things we did together… he wasn’t just horny. He wasn’t playing me. He put as much emotion into it as I did. God, I’m the fuck’n idiot. Why did I accuse him of playing me? We both know we’re past that. We both know that we have something real now. I was… I was scared._

With that off his chest, he could finish taking care of himself. It satisfied his body but his mind was as restless as ever. He fixed his pants and went back to Victor’s room, rapping his fist against the door twice lightly. _What am I going to say?_ He wondered. _I have to say something. I can’t sleep with things the way they are._

The door opened in seconds and Victor greeted his partner with a shameful expression. A few moments of silence passed between the two. “Are you going to come in?” He asked, making way for Yuri.

Hesitantly, the Japanese man stepped in and closed the door behind himself. Yuri opened his mouth to address the man but was beaten to it.

“I’m sure you already know this, Yuri…” He struggled with the words, “but I like you. When you’re angry like this… it makes me feel bad.”

“I’m not angry anymore.” Yuri gave the man a little smile to ease his nerves.

“And when you’re nice to me, after I’ve wronged you… that only makes me feel worse.”

“You’re not the only one with something to be sorry for. I…I was wrong too.”

“Was that an apology?” Victor asked.

“It was a statement.” Yuri corrected. “I was wrong to accuse you of playing me. If my intuition is right…” He looked up to meet Victor’s eyes, “Then neither of us are playing power games anymore. Is my intuition right?”

Victor nodded.

“And… I don’t think we’re just acquaintances or business partners.”

“What do think we are then?”

Yuri rolled his eyes. “Come on, I’ve only known you three days. I’m not obligated to answer that question for at least another week.”

“Is this your idea of teasing me?”

“This is my way of saying it’s too soon to know much of anything yet. Let’s wait, then we can talk about serious matters. Until then, let’s just… _have fun_.”

“What kind of fun?”

“The kind we were having yesterday and all day today. Just being ourselves. Learning about each other. Let’s just spend some time together, not pretending to be anything we’re not. Just honest.”

Victor considered this with his arms crossed. “Okay, but here’s my condition. Go to your room, take out your contacts, put on your glasses, and rinse the gel out of your hair then come back.”

“What for?”

“We’re supposed to use these next few days to learn about each other, right? I want to know what you look like when you’re not trying to seduce me. Hair down, glasses on. Just the regular Yuri.”

“Okay.” He agreed. “But you have to meet me half way. Hair out of your face, fully clothed. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Yuri left only to stare at himself in the mirror as anxiety made his fingertips tingle. He didn’t know why it scared him to show Victor the “unprepared” part of himself other than it was exactly what it sounded like, _unprepared_. His face was clean of makeup, his hair free of gel, his eyes guarded by glasses, and his soul vulnerable.

_I’m actually going to do it_ , He coached himself, looking sternly into the mirror. _I’m going to let Victor see me. I’m going to let him get close to me. And I’m going to do the same to him. I’ve going to get to know and love him without restricting myself._

His confidence crumbled as his head fell into his arms, feeling helpless. “ _This is such a bad idea_.” He mumbled into his elbow. “I shouldn’t be giving in. I shouldn’t be _indulging_. I’m here on work, not to play ‘let’s have a Hallmark romance and ignore the grave I’m digging for myself’. _God, Yuri_. _You’re a fuck’n idiot_!”

He took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror again, plucking up his forced ignorance and stupid courage. “I’m going to do it.” He said with a nod. “I’m going to indulge. _I deserve to fall in love_.”

He made his way to Victor’s room, blocking out his nagging conscience as it tried to remind him of his situation. The door opened to him and Yuri’s conscience was dissipated. Victor stood before him in a t-shirt and sweat pants with a pink clip holding back his bangs. The professional Yuri would have hidden his delight but the honest Yuri openly smiled at the man who surprisingly, smiled back.

The Russian played a dark cocoa tuft of Yuri’s bangs. “So, this is what you were hiding from me? Why? Nothing’s wrong with it. Healthy, strong, rich color…”

Yuri stepped in and closed the door. “Being sexy is part of the image. It’s easier to make business deals when you’re hot. People will give you what you want. _This_ ,” he said, gesturing to the fluffed-up mess, “Isn’t very sexy. It makes me look younger than I am.”

“How old are you?” Victor asked with a smirk. “I remember you avoiding the question last time I asked.”

“It’s part of my profession to seduce, and part of that is never letting your partner know how old you are. People like to guess. It entices them.”

The Russian laughed and sat on his bed. “Okay, let me think. You’re… in your twenties, right?”

Yuri nodded. “Right.”

“Your early twenties?”

He gave a so-so gesture with his hand.

“Twenty-five?”

He bit his bottom lip to contain a smile and shook his head.

“Twenty-four?” He guessed. Yuri didn’t answer but his wide grin was enough to give it away.  “Twenty-four! I got you. Now you do me.”

“Oh, I already know everything. You’re 28 and your birthday is on Christmas. I do my research.”

“Yeah? Well you’re not as smart as you think, Mr. I-do-my-research. I don’t know what day I was born on and no one else does either. It was just decided for me as a child that we would celebrate it on Christmas and the tradition has stuck around.”

Yuri pried gently. “You don’t have a birth certificate?”

Victor shook his head. “No one really cares when an abandoned child was born, they just worry about who’s going to feed it and take care of it.”

Yuri had intended to mute his look of pity but it showed through. “Sorry… I won’t ask any more if-“

“If what?” Victor asked coolly. “We’re supposed to be open, right? To learn more about each other. Well, that’s the story of Victor Nikiforov. They gave me the same birthday as the Christ child, hoping it would be a good omen and that I would grow to be a virtuous and kind man. Omens are nice in poetry but have no sustainability in practice. Instead I buy rocks, sell rocks, and the world crumbles in my wake. It’s not as glorious as it looks on the outside. We wear nice clothes and act like we’ve got it all figured out… like the money is enough to make us happy and to wipe our consciences clean of old blood but money is just money. It can get you a nice suit but it can’t make you happy wearing it.”

Yuri sat beside the man on the bed and touched the back of his hand to comfort him. “It’s just like you said: everyone is too something for this business. You? Too lonely.”

“Being lonely makes you great at this job.” He countered, not meeting Yuri’s eyes. “Nothing to lose, nothing to fret over, no weakness. Weakness breaks you.”

Yuri took Victor’s chin lightly and pulled it toward him. The Russian did little to fight. When their eyes finally met, Yuri could see the loneliness and longing that were rich in his deep blue gaze. He leaned in with his eyes closed but waited for Victor to reciprocate, their lips moving on each other’s. One man kissed with compassion and the other with desperation, both wanting only to be with the other in that moment.

When their lips separated, Yuri got up from the bed immediately so to avoid getting caught up in a moment of passion with Victor again. He meandered over to the shelves that were full of books and trinkets as the other man watched. His fingers gently played over the objects as he studied them. Suddenly, a book caught his attention. He pulled it out and read the title, which was written completely in Chinese characters. He opened the book and looked through a page. “You’re trying to learn Chinese?” Yuri asked.

“I know a bit. I just have that to study from time to time. I have no one to practice with so I find it hard to stay sharp.”

“我理解。” (Me too) Yuri responded, still looking through the book.

Victor perked up. “Are you fluent?”

Yuri gave a more-or-less gesture with his hand. He hesitated to say he was fluent in any language but Japanese though he was highly skilled in a hand-full of tongues.

“What languages do you speak?” Victor asked.

“Well? Japanese, Russian, English, Chinese, and Thai. Poorly? Spanish and Swahili.”

“That’s so many!”

Yuri blushed a bit. He had learned Japanese from his parents, Chinese and English at school, Thai from Phichit, and the others from the academy. He had to know all the major business languages plus a few extra depending on what assignments he was meant to take. Thankfully, he’d always had a knack for languages and picked them up easily. “I’m a business man,” Yuri excused, “and I don’t like to use translators. The less middlemen, the better.”

“Read for me.” Victor prompted with excitement.

“Read what?”

“That book.” He clarified. Yuri glanced down at the open page and began to read aloud in Chinese. “Now in English.” Victor requested.

“Double object pronouns should come before the verb set in the circumstance of a present-progressive verb.” Yuri translated as he read. Victor was amazed.

“Now Thai.” He requested. Yuri obliged. After a sentence, Victor changed his mind again. “Now Japanese.” Yuri started on the next sentence only to be interrupted half-way through when Victor changed his mind again. “Spanish!”

“Los objetos indirectos no pueden cambiar-“ Yuri was stopped again.

“Swahili!” Victor cheered.

“You have to at least let me finish my sentence.” Yuri complained. “Besides, it too late at night for this. Speaking all these different languages makes my head tired.”

Victor patted a space on the bed beside him. “Then come lay down. That way, if you fall asleep while reading, you won’t fall to the ground and hurt yourself.”

Yuri looked into the other man’s eyes in search of ulterior motives but found none. He put the Chinese book back and instead chose Moby Dick then settled into the bed beside Victor. Yuri opened the book and saw that it was printed in English. “It smells old.” He observed.

“It’s a first edition.” Victor answered, leaning back and closing his eyes. “But don’t worry. It’s not that fragile. Read it anyhow.”

“In what language?”

“Russian.”

Yuri began at the beginning and didn’t fall asleep until chapter 6. At that point, Victor took the book from his limp hands and left it on the nightstand with a piece of string marking the page. As he got comfortable next to Yuri and prepared to go to sleep himself, he wondered if it would be alright to hold or touch the other man. On one hand, Yuri had proved that he enjoyed physical attention from Victor but on the other hand, it felt wrong to try his luck while the other was unconscious. He tested the waters by putting a hand on Yuri’s shoulder. The smaller man reacted to the warmth instantly, lazily shifting his weight to be closer to the heat.  Victor proceeded, wrapping his arm around Yuri. The Asian moved into Victor, cuddling into him like a pillow. He held his partner and fell asleep in minutes.

Yuri was the first to wake up and realized immediately that he couldn’t see. _Shit, I fell asleep in my glasses_ , he thought. He spotted the faint blue frames on the pillow beside his head. It wasn’t until he reached for them and found his arms restrained that he remembered where he was. He looked to Victor who slept soundly. The man’s long limbs trapped Yuri.

“ _Victor_.” He whispered. The man did not respond. Yuri tried again and again, louder and more persistent each time but the man didn’t budge. Yuri resisted the urge to yell at him, afraid of waking the others. He began to fear that the other man was drugged or paralyzed somehow. Any normal person would have woken up long ago. He kept calling his name without success.  Finally, Yuri nipped the arm that hung over his shoulders. That stirred the silver-haired man to the point that Yuri could get his attention by calling his name. Victor’s eyes opened slowly, still full of drowsiness. Those deep blue orbs looked at Yuri with confusion.

“Christ, Victor!” He exclaimed, keeping his voice low. “I need a bullhorn to wake you up!”

The other man rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes, giving Yuri the freedom to retrieve his glasses. Victor grumbled. “ _It’s early_.” He complained.

“I should go before the others notice. And you should work on your reaction time. You’re not going to survive long in this business when you sleep like a grizzly bear. You’re guard is down.”

“Oh, _my_ guard is down? _You’re_ the one sleeping in the bed of the enemy.” He put a finger across Yuri’s neck like a blade. “I could do anything I want to you. You’re unguarded. You have no weapons, no protection, no back up. You’re the one who should be careful.”

Yuri didn’t filch. He looked to the man with calm eyes. “You’re the one who told me to come to you unguarded and I did because I trust you.”

“What if you’re wrong.”

“I’m not.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“My intuition.”

Victor removed his finger from Yuri’s throat and turned to his bedside drawer. He pulled out a switch blade and held that to Yuri’s neck in place of a finger. Suddenly, the threat of betrayal was much greater but Yuri still didn’t react. He looked to Victor, not even sparing a glance for the blade. “You won’t.” The Japanese man said without doubt.

Victor pushed the blade more insistently into the soft, vulnerable, flesh. Yuri gasped lightly but didn’t move away or put his hands up to stop the other. In a second, the blade was removed from Yuri’s throat and pushed back into the handle. “Why do you trust me so much?” He asked the younger, genuine in his confusion.

“You wanted me to trust you.” The other answered.

“I could have slit your throat. No one would have helped you. You had nothing to defend yourself. I could have given you a slow death right here, right now.”

Yuri shook his head. “No… you couldn’t have.”

“Don’t play stupid. You can’t seriously be so naïve to think that I haven’t killed before. Look at these hands.” He presented his palms. “They’ve had blood on them so many times they should be dyed pink.”

Yuri gently took one of the hands and pressed it to his cheek. “They’re soft.”

Victor cocked his head at the gesture. Against his will, his hand softened and cupped the cheek it held. “I’m not the kind of person you should like.”

“Me either.” Guilt made Yuri’s stomach cold.

“This is a mistake.” The Russian argued.

“I know… but I want it and I’m selfish.”

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Why not?”

“I’ll corrupt you.”

“You’re wrong. I’m already corrupted. You’re my present. Fate has dealt me a shitty hand. It corrupted me, it put me in hopeless situations where my only choices are bad ones. But in all of this, fate has offered me a silver lining. You’re my present.  Something bright in my rotten story.”

Victor looked at his partner piteously. “Your eyes are broken.”

“I can see you clearly.”

“I’ve done unforgivable things.”

“We’re equals, then.” Said Yuri, thinking of the day he would betray Victor. The word _unforgivable_ echoed in his mind.

The Russian man gave up. “You’re the stupidest person I’ve ever met. I bet if a lion told you it was hungry, you would saw off your arm.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’d offer the leg first.” Yuri joked with a little smile.

“Yuri, I-“ Victor began with enthusiasm but his courage quickly wilted into embarrassment and uncertainty. “I like you. _Don’t leave me_.” He finally said.

Yuri kissed the hand that still rested on his cheek and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “It’s better if Yurio and Yakov don’t wake up to find me in your bed. Then I’m certain that they’ll never like me.”

“I don’t mean like that…” Victor bit his lip until he had the strength to push the words out. “This isn’t just a business deal and we’re not just business partners. So… when this is over… let’s not move on.”

The guilt was now sickeningly painful. Yuri nodded at the other man. “You’re special to me too, Victor.”

“Can we… _I don’t even know what I’m saying_.” He grumbled in frustration, his face flushed. “Can you stay close to me? I don’t mean move in or anything just… _be there_ , within reach. Pick up the phone when I call and don’t forget me.”

“I promise.”

Yuri left the room soon after uttering the words and went straight to the toilet to drool into it, his nauseousness triggered by anxiety. _Poor Victor. He doesn’t know what I’m doing to him. He has no idea how badly I’m going to hurt him._

He remembered Victor putting the knife to his throat. Then he imagined himself doing the same thing to Victor but instead of putting the knife away, he plunged it in and let the warm blood seep onto his hands. The last glass tears fell from those ocean eyes. The image was enough to push Yuri over the edge. He gagged and hurled into the toilet, pain ripping at his throat.

_I’m sending him to his death. Jail, solitary confinement, abuse, mistreatment, and death. How can you call that love?_ Yuri imagined visiting the broken man in prison. With tears in his eyes, he would beg Yuri to help him, saying over and over that he didn’t want to die.

He hurled again, his stomach finally empty this time. “ _I’m so sorry_ …” He whispered in his faintest voice before giving himself over to sobs. He bit his lip until it bled, trying to contain the noise. _What am I doing?_ He asked himself. _I thought this was just supposed to be a job. But I love him… I love him._ He admitted silently.

When he felt that he had regained some control of himself, Yuri stumbled to his and Phichit’s room, his eyes red, his cheeks wet, his hair a mess and his expression helplessly suffering. His friend was already awake when he entered. He opened his mouth to ask where Yuri had been but quickly shut it, realizing that something had gone horribly wrong. He held his arms out and the Japanese man fell into them, the sobs returning as he clung tightly to Phichit.

“What is it?” Phichit asked.

“ _I love him_.” Yuri admitted, his voice trembling. “ _So much_.”

The horrible news settled in for a minute. There was silence save the soft pants and whines from Yuri. Finally, Phichit laid his head on his friends’ shoulder in a sad resign, nuzzling into the man who had been practically a brother to him since childhood. “ _May god take pity on you_.” He whispered in Thai. “ _You poor, poor, soul_.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Contains descriptive panic attacks.)

Days went by that were almost blissful. The two men grew closer to each other, each day becoming more of their true selves. Yuri became more mellow and shy while Victor became chipper and optimistic. Though they continued to reveal their true nature to each other, neither was disappointed. Yuri grew fonder of Victor given his new, more youthful and carefree personality. The silver-haired man would openly joke around with him, laugh, goof off, act silly, and he doted on the Japanese man with an affection Yuri had never known from him. It took Yuri by surprise when Victor began acting like this but it seemed so natural that he quickly became accustomed to the new Victor.

Although each of them wanted to spend the whole day together, still in the honeymoon phase of their romance, they restrained themselves so as to not upset the balance of the house. They did however, without fail, spend every night together. Yuri kept his things in the room he used to share with Phichit but he hadn’t slept in the same room as his friend in days. Instead, nights were spent with Victor, in his bed, reading until he was too tired to continue. Then Victor would take the book from him, mark the page with a piece of string, and the two would hold each other until the morning. Yuri often woke up wondering how everything had managed to turn out so easy.

Those nights were special. During the day, Yuri would be on the clock. He slicked his hair back, put in his contacts, and gathered information like he was supposed to. Yuri always felt a twinge of guilt when he handed Phichit the information to be sent back to headquarters but he reasoned that it wasn’t personal, just business. _I’m here on business_ , he told himself. _The only way I can make my relationship with Victor work is if I keep up my work duties. Then no one will have reason to call me back home or question my activity here. I just do my work then I retire at night, like any other nine-to-fiver, to my personal life._

And that personal life was blissful. Yuri came to Victor’s room in lounging clothes with his hair loose and his glasses on. His partner always smiled when he entered and pulled their bodies together by hooking an arm around Yuri’s hip. Then they would kiss. They never did anything more, not because they didn’t want to but because they knew they weren’t ready for it yet. The relationship, although undefined, was still young and fragile.

Yuri could not explain his “night terrors” to Victor. In truth, Yuri had been plagued by panic attacks since he and Victor started getting closer. The younger man had to be awoken regularly during the night because he would start gasping horrendously as though he couldn’t breathe. It made his partner afraid to see him like that but Yuri always assured the other that he was fine. Sometimes, they could be set off during the day if Yuri’s thoughts got away from him. The only way Yuri could live in a decent amount of comfort with all the dread that weighed down his heart was to ignore the truth as often as he could and to deal with the panic attacks when he could not.

They were trigged when Yuri’s conscience reminded him of his circumstance. All too quickly, he would remember the horrible things he would have to do to Victor and the tremendous hurt that would eternally follow his betrayal. Sometimes, he would vomit. Other times, he would gasp and tremble and stutter. Sometimes, he just shut down. He would sit in silence, looking at nothing, listening to nothing, and just thinking numbingly awful thoughts. Victor took him back to his realm of blissful ignorance the same way the ocean reclaims a shell that has washed up on shore: slowly, gently, patiently.

It was almost too easy for Yuri to fall for Victor. The man attracted him in every way. He loved it especially when Victor would fawn over his pet, taking him for walks and out to play often. The man loved Makkachin and it was evident. He carried the dog around when he felt that his pet needed to be pampered and even let him climb onto the bed at night. Most people would complain of the smell and the shedding but Yuri had always liked dogs.

Yuri and Victor both noticed early on into the attacks that Makkachin had a keen eye for recognizing a panic attack before it arrived. He would follow at Yuri’s heals with dedication, whining and licking. Sure enough, in a few minutes or a few seconds, Yuri’s heart would be racing and he’d be trying desperately to calm himself down. Victor made sure that Yuri was never without the dog. The Asian man was already certain that he’d take the dog back to Japan with him once Victor was incarcerated. He would make sure that the beloved pet and the precious paintings were cared for exactly how Victor would want them to be.

Despite the fear and anxiety of those moments, the two were often happy. They took walks, talked about art, joked with each other, and more than anything else, _they read_. Listening to Yuri read aloud was Victor’s greatest joy. Yuri would memorize a poem sometimes and recite it for the other randomly throughout the day as a special gift. He even wrote his own poems to entertain the other but lied when he was asked about the author.

On one such happy day, Victor and Yuri had planned to leave the house early hike in the dark to a peak where Victor swore you could see all of Russia. The two sat and waited, bundled up in jackets while Makkachin explored nearby. Yuri looked over at his partner. The Russian noticed. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing much. It’s so dark. So instead, I’m just imagining.”

“Oh really? What do you imagine?”

“I’m imagining that I’m sitting next to a big, scary, Russian, mob boss.”

The silver-haired man feigned shock, gasping. “Dear me! You must be terrified!”

Yuri played along with a smile. “I’m nothing short of petrified, in fact. He’s stone cold with a soul like iron. You couldn’t imagine the type of man he is. Instead of eating cereal and milk for breakfast, he just chews on staples as if they were granola. And at night, he lays stiff on a slab of marble and keeps his eyes wide open.”

“Who is this man?”

“The great and treacherous _Victor Nikiforov_ , the patron saint of crime, Russia’s personal Satan, the Dealer of Death.” Yuri looked out just as the sun broke over the horizon. “Wait a moment, the light’s changing…” They waited a few minutes then he looked back at Victor as if he had just transformed from a beast into a prince. He gasped. “I was wrong! It’s not Victor Nikiforov at all!”

“Huh? Who is it, then?”

“Why…It’s _Victor Nikiforov_! Oh my goodness! You were sitting in front of me this whole time! How didn’t I recognize you!”

The older man laughed lightly. “Is he much better than the former?”

“He’s a different person altogether! That other man is cruel, senseless and cold.”

“So what’s the difference between me and the man you mistook me for?”

“That man…was just an illusion. When someone looks at you from afar or their vision is obscured, they might mistake you for that man. You see, you and that man share the same skin. He has a bad reputation. Before I came to Russia, I had heard all the rumors about him and it scared me. I’ll even admit that I mistook you two when I first met you but very soon, my vision cleared and I realized I was wrong. You’re not that cold, cruel, mob boss that I thought you were. You’re someone else. You’re the art-lover who dotes on his pet and who’s hair is the same color as starlight-“

“Stop, stop, stop!” Victor cried, hiding his red face in his hands. “It started off so cute and clever but now it’s just embarrassing!”

Yuri laughed at his partner. Victor couldn’t take sincere flattery. Of course, all his other business partners would try to win his favor by complimenting his power and achievement. He accepted their remarks with a cold smirk. Yuri, on the other hand, was always truthful in his admiration and it unraveled Victor. “ _Poor Victor_.” Yuri cooed. “ _So shy_ , like a school child with his first crush.” He had meant the tease simply as a joke.

“Is it _that_ obvious?” The other groaned, embarrassed.

That caught Yuri off guard. “Is _what_ obvious?”

“ _That you’re my first crush_.” He answered. Now it was Yuri’s turn to blush. “God, I hate getting all flustery like this. It’s not very cool, is it?”

Yuri didn’t know how to answer. He looked out at the pink sky, his heart jumping in his chest. He was happy. “It’s okay, I still think you’re cool.” He finally answered, smiling wide.

Victor looked up at his partner and smiled. “I’m glad _someone_ does.”

“Are you kidding? No one in the world thinks of the name Victor Nikiforov with indifference. You’re held in high regards across ever nation.”

The older man rolled his eyes but returned the smile anyhow. “What’s the good of that? They fear me, they plot my destruction, and they wait for my demise. My place in this world is incredibly momentary, just like a butterfly. I’ve spent my life trying to become something, something special and important and powerful. Then when I’m finally there, I only have a short time to enjoy what I’ve accomplished. You see, a butterfly is good for nothing. It consumes its environment and spreads parasites. All it can do is look pretty. It’s like that in the crime world too. The drug rings are conscious beings of their own and humans are only workers in them. Do you understand? Bosses come and go, mules come and go, distributors, consumers, victims, they all just come and go. None of them effect the cycle, they only perpetuate it. I’m just as temporary and useless as the rest of them. I came, reeked my havoc, and soon, I’ll leave the cycle too.” He gestured the shape of a circle spinning round and round.

“What do you mean?”

“I came to be a mob boss when the man before me was taken from his house in the middle of the night by an old enemy and dragged from the back of his car for hours until he died. No one passes away from old age in this line of business. I’m not naïve enough to believe that I’ll be an exception. Something will happen. Maybe a rival will destroy me, maybe an enemy will have me removed, maybe my men will turn on me for profit. It could be someone close or someone far, but I’ve learned not to waste my time worrying…” Victor paused, noticing his nervous pet nudging his elbow with his nose. “Huh?” Realization hit him. He quickly looked over to Yuri who was staring at him wide-eyed and trembling. “ _Yuri_!”

“I-I don’t- I don’t- I don’t- I don’t w-want to t-t-t-talk about tha-tha-tha-that.” He stuttered, unable to control his rabbit-paced breathing. Victor went to touch his arm but the other man jumped. Victor knew he had to take Yuri somewhere he could calm down. He stood up and offered his hand.

“Can you get up?” He asked. Yuri shook his head violently. His body was frozen shut. Victor picked him up carefully. At first, Yuri resisted but as he was pressed up against the warmth of Victor’s body, he began to relax.

Victor carried him home, ignoring the looks of the Russians who sat in the living room dissecting the newspaper. He went straight to his room, put Yuri in his bed, and wrapped the whole comforter around him until he was completely hidden, save his eyes. Victor stood by and watched nervously.

After a minute, Yuri’s breathing had returned to a pace normal enough to where he could speak again. “C-come here.”

The Russian sat on the bed beside his partner, who crawled out of his comforter cocoon and into his lap. Yuri had not done anything so completely childish before but he needed the proximity. Once Victor got over the surprise, he held the younger protectively. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Don’t talk about b-b-being dragged behind a-a-a-a car until y-you die.” He said.

“That wasn’t _me_.” He clarified.

“It d-doesn’t matter! I don’t-I don’t want to th-think about that kind of thing hap-happening to you.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. That was a little much.”

“I’m s-scared…”

“Of what?”

“Something bad happening to you…”

“ _I’m flattered_.” Victor replied with a chuckle. “Nothing’s going to happen. It’s just you, me, Fu-Han, Yurio, an Yakov. I trust my men. Do you trust Fu-Han?”

Yuri nodded.

“And I trust you, so I’m sure Fu-Han can’t be rotten. See? I’m not scared, you shouldn’t be either. There’s only good people here.”

Victor though he was helping but he was only triggering a relapse.  Yuri started shaking again and rocking. _Don’t trust me, you shouldn’t trust me_. Yuri thought. _It’s all my fault. I’m going to be the who betrays you. Don’t trust me, please. Please Victor, I’m the rotten one. I’m the worst thing that’s ever going to happen to you._

“Calm down, Yuri! Stop it!” Victor cried but the smaller man couldn’t hear him. His head pounded so violently loud. He tried to cover his ears but the drumming persisted. Victor pulled his hands away. “Yuri!? _Yuri!?_ Stay with me, come on! Listen to me!” But the younger didn’t respond. He tried shaking him but to no avail.

Finally, desperate and helpless, he pressed his lips to Yuri’s and kissed gently. Almost immediately, the shaking stopped. There was no movement on the part of the Asian man but Victor persisted, holding his lover in his arms. Slowly, Yuri’s arms came up and he held Victor back. The Russian breathed a sigh of relief.

“What’s this all about, Yuri?” Victor asked, a strand of helplessness in his voice.

“What’s what all about?”

“These panic attacks. What’s causing them?”

Yuri shrugged and looked away, ashamed. “I don’t know. Different stuff all the time.”

“I mean… is it me?”

Yuri shrugged again, refusing to answer.

“Was this normal for you before you came to Russia? I don’t remember an of this during your first few days here.”

“It…It would sometimes happen when I was younger and I didn’t know how to deal with my anxiety. But as I grew up, I learned to conceal it. I thought I had it all under control.”

“Is it the stress of the business deal? Because, if it is, you don’t have to worry. I’m very willing to negotiate with you. I promise, you’ll get a fair and safe deal.”

“That’s not it.”

“Is it the distance from home?”

Yuri didn’t answer.

“I get it. You’re in a foreign place full of strangers and dangers. I would be nervous too. Far from home, far from family, far from your island… have you… considered maybe going home?” He suggested hesitantly.

That grabbed Yuri’s attention. His eyes darted up to Victor’s with confusion, indecision, and hurt. “Go home?”

“Only if you want to but… yeah, I think that might be what’s best for you. Of course, I want you to stay but not if every day is going to be this hard for you.” Just then, the Russians in the living room started calling out for Victor. He got up, sensing emergency in their voices. “Just think about it, okay?”

Victor rushed out to join the others, their voices mingling into an unintelligible hum of Russian. Yuri got off the bed and pressed his ear to the door, concentrating.

“Are you sure you heard, right?” He heard Victor’s voice demand.

“Heard? I fuck’n _saw_ it! It’s on the fuck’n _news_ , Victor! Danny’s in the can, they sacked him this morning. They plastered his face up on the god damn TV for crying out loud!” The youngest rebutted.

Yuri recognized the name instantly. Danny Semenov, a trafficker that he had ratted out yesterday. Danny was just a transporter, not a dealer or a producer but regardless, he had his hands dirty. He trafficked in everything from minerals and drugs to people, the works. Victor had told Yuri about him on a few occasions. Yuri knew that Danny was in Posyet finishing up a deal to move a boat of immigrant women to a company that would transform them into sex workers. Once that deal closed, he was supposed to meet Victor in Penza and take a shipment of sapphire to a client for him. Yuri relayed the information and Danny was nabbed in Posyet.

“Is he talking to police?” Victor asked.

“Why the fuck would I know!? They don’t make that shit public but you better hope your sorry ass he doesn’t!”

“That little snake! He wouldn’t, we’ve been working together for years!”

“I bet he would. A desperate man does what it takes to survive. When they catch a man like that, a trafficker, the press him for suppliers. They squeeze him dry for names and places.” Yakov chimed in.

“Good luck with that! He doesn’t know where I live.” Yuri could hear Victor’s feet pacing back and forth.

“He knows plenty, Victor. He knows your face, your car, your schedule. He knows you’re going to be in Penza tomorrow with a bag of rocks the size of a softball.” The older reminded him.

“As if I would go there _now_!” Victor barked. Yuri wished he could tell Victor that he didn’t need to worry. _They’re not coming for you, not yet. They don’t want you, you have a few more months of freedom ahead of you._

“That doesn’t dismiss the fact that Danny’s a god-damn rat!” Yurio retorted. “Or at least he will be when they start whacking him over the head!”

“He’s _not_ a rat and, now that I think about it, this is good. _This is really good_. He must have had a snitch on him. How else would he get caught? He’s careful. He keeps his mouth shut and moves in secrecy. There’s a rat in the business somewhere.” He decided. Yuri’s heart quickened.

“There are rats everywhere and frankly, Victor, incidents like this make me apprehensive of having strangers in the home!” The younger countered.

“They’re my _guests_.” Yuri could sense a danger in Victor’s voice.

“He makes a fair point, Victor.” The old man said. “It wasn’t your place to bring them into the home by surprise like that without our consent.”

“You should have stuck with the plan and dropped them off at the hotel like we had fuck’n agreed! Your little whims aren’t cute or endearing, they’re dangerous and selfish!”

“It’s none of your business why I do the things I do!” Victor snapped back at the younger. “I’m the boss here and you work for _me_.”

“You’re endangering all of us when you make haste decisions like this.” Yakov added to the argument. “They could be rats.”

“They’re not!” The man fired back.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just am!”

“It’s because he’s fucking the little Japanese one.” Yurio chimed in. There was a moment of silence to follow. “What? I’m only saying what we all know. You saw him at the airport, thought he was cute, and brought him back to be a toy. You’re not that hard to understand, Victor. Do you really think I believe that you take him to your room every night just to read Moby Dick? How fuck’n dumb do you think I am?”

“Is that true, Vitya?” The older asked.

“I told you not to call me that…” Victor’s voice returned smaller and more hesitant than it had been before. “You’re wrong, I didn’t bring him here to be a toy. I’m sorry I made a rash decision without consulting you guys but you have the wrong idea about Yuri.”

“What is he to you?” Yakov inquired. “I haven’t seen you treating your other business partners this way so obviously, you brought him here for a special purpose.” Victor didn’t respond. “ _Vitya_.” He said scoldingly.

“Just for company, _I promise_.”

“We’re not good enough company for you, huh?” The teen barked.

“A different kind of company! It’s none of your business!”

“He sleeps two doors down from me so, _yeah_ , I think it _is_ my business!” Yurio fired back.

“Dammit, Yurio!” Victor exploded. “If you didn’t have your head up your ass all the time, you would see why I like him! He’s clever and nice and poetic and if you weren’t so threatened by him, you would find that you actually _like_ him! But instead, you sit there on your high horse thinking you’re so much better than everyone and that everyone should bow down. Yuri dares to stand with you as an equal and you just can’t fuck’n stand it, _can you_!? You can’t stand his confidence because it reminds you that you’re _weak_!”

Yuri couldn’t tell what happened next. There was a hitting noise followed by Yakov crying, “ _Yurio_! Boys, stop it!” Some more tussling followed accompanied by vague shouts and curses. Yakov was the next to speak intelligibly, yelling, “Both of you, to your rooms, _now_!”

“I’m not a god damn kid, old man!”

“ _Now, Yurio_!” He answered sternly. Yuri heard a door slam as loud as thunder. He darted back to the bed just in time for Victor to enter and close his own door noticeably loudly. Half of his face was bright red.

“What’s going on out there?” Yuri asked with concern.

“Yurio’s being a fuck’n brat, _like always_.” He touched his cheek investigatively and winced. “He punched me.”

“Did you… _punch him back_?”

“What?” The older man looked at Yuri with sincere confusion. “No. Why would I punch him back? He’s just a kid.” He touched the area again just before Yuri stood up and pulled his hand away.

“Don’t touch it.” He said gently. They met eyes and held the gaze. “Victor…”

“Yes?”

“I…I heard what you were saying. I wasn’t eavesdropping or anything I just- well, it was loud and…I just… I was wondering how you feel… _towards me_.”

“ _Oh_ …” The older man suddenly understood what he was asking. “Has enough time passed that it’s time to talk about this?”

“I think so… I think we should both have a good understanding of our feelings by now.”

Victor nodded. “Do _I_ say it then?” He glanced shyly at the other who nodded back. He took a deep breath. “I want this to be a… _relationship_. A long thing that doesn’t just casually break. I don’t want it to be like you go back to Japan and we just chat on the phone every once in a while, or fly out to see each other once a year. I want the kind of relationship where…one of us follows the other and we see each other every night and every morning.”

Yuri smiled, deciding it was a good time to tease the other man. “You want me to be a live-in maid? I don’t think I’m cut out for the work.”

Victor laughed. “Your humor has absolutely the worst timing!”

“Does it really?” He asked with a smirk.

“No, not at all. _Perfect timing_.” Victor guided Yuri’s chin up and exchanged a short kiss with him. They parted slowly, both with heavy eyelids and wide smiles.

“I’m serious, I think you’ll have to make it a little clearer for me.” The younger cooed.

“Yuri, I want to be able to hold hands with you in public. I want to eat your cooking, I want to fold your laundry, I want you to read poetry to me on the porch of our place. I want to roll around in bed with you, I want to kiss you when the sunshine makes a little golden halo in your hair, I want to be able to tell people that you’re mine.”

“Okay.” Yuri agreed but his partner continued, lost in his fantasy.

“I want to do silly, stupid, things that you want to do. I want you to comb my hair. I want to try new teas with you and criticize old movies with you. I want to brush my teeth and see you in the mirror beside me. I want to wake up in the middle of the night and tell you the startling thing I dreamt of.”

“ _Okay, Victor_.”

“I want to make a nice fire in the fireplace for you when it’s cold. I want to bury my nose in your hair and smell your shampoo. I want to hear you sing to yourself as you do chores. I want to know you so well that I can create your shopping list _for you_.”

“ _Victor_.” Yuri pressed a finger to the other’s lips. “Stop for a second, I need to soak in that last thing so I can remember it forever. I think that’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

The taller man laughed before being pulled down to exchange another slow, loving, kiss. “ _I love you, too_.” Yuri whispered, fearlessly throwing in the L-word.

Though Victor was caught off guard, he was soon consumed by effervescent joy. He took his partner’s face in his hands and kissed it all over. “You mean it, right? You’re serious?”

“This is the most honest I’ve been in my whole life.” He smiled as the kisses continued to tickle his face.

“Then it’s official, right? We’re in a romantic relationship? You’re mine now?”

“That’s right.” He answered. With anyone else, Yuri would have refused the allow terms of ownership to be used but with Victor, he just smiled and accepted it, glad to be his.

 


	6. Chapter 6

“Wait, let me get this straight.” Phichit said, setting down his orange to give his full attention to his partner sitting across the table from him. “You’re _official_ with Victor Nikiforov?”

The two had woken up only minutes ago and the Russians, as usual, were out of the house talking business. They settled down in the kitchen with a couple oranges and Yuri broke the news to his friend. “Yeah… we even pulled out the L word.”

“ _No…_ You’re not serious, are you?” Phichit exclaimed.

“Dead serious. This doesn’t sound funny enough to be a joke, does it?”

“But-! H-hold on…” He stared at his fingers, trying to find room in his mind to comprehend the situation. “Yuri, did you hit your head? Do you know how… _stupid_ this is?”

“I’ve made my decision and I’m sticking by it.” He gave Phichit a small bow of his head.

“But… _what happens in three months_?”

“I don’t know yet. I have a lot of things to figure out.”

“The job is our priority.” He reminded Yuri.

“No… My priorities have changed.”

“ _Yuri! Are you hearing yourself_!?”

“I know what I said. I told Victor I loved him and I wouldn’t have done that as a joke. I promised my loyalty to him and that’s where it’s going to stay.”

“And what about me!?” Phichit yelled. Yuri had never seen his friend so angry. “So you’re going to run off to Spain with Prince Arrogance and _then what_!? What about me!? What about your family!?”

“I told you, I don’t know! I’m going to figure something out!”

“ _Are you going to tell him_?”

“Tell him what?”

Phichit rolled his eyes. “That your favorite dish is Katudon! _WHAT DO YOU THINK, YURI!?_ The elephant in the room! _THAT YOU’RE A FUCK’N SPY!”_

“I will!”

“When!?”

“ _I don’t know, dammit_!”

“You never will! You know why!? Because we both know that he’s not going to just wag a finger at you and say ‘ _naughty, naughty’_! Do you think he’ll still value your guys’ little loyalty oath after he finds out you’re a traitor!? If you do, then you’re even dumber that I thought!” When Phichit was on a roll, it was nearly impossible for him to cool down. “He’s not going to hold you and say, ‘ _It’s alright, baby. Everyone makes mistakes_!’ No! HE’S GOING TO FUCK’N BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT EXICUTION-STYLE! And then he’s going to do the same to me! You’re an idiot, Yuri! I’m sorry, but you’re just a huge, dumb, irresponsible, idiot!”

It was then that he realized the Japanese man was silently crying into his hands. Silence fell between the two for a few minutes. Phichit watched his friends in misery, whimpering and sighing into his palms. Eventually, he could not hold strong anymore. He loved his friend, he couldn’t stand to stay angry with him.

Yuri felt a gentle touch on his arm and he looked up. Phichit offered him a soft, sad, smile. “Do you really love him?” He asked. Yuri nodded, tears still falling from his eyes.

“I really do… more than I’ve loved anyone else.”

“Do you really want him for the rest of your life? Think long and hard about that, because you only get one shot. If you go one way or the other, you can’t reverse your decision.”

“I do…”

“You’re certain?”

The puff-eyed Japanese man nodded.

“Okay.” Phichit said with a small nod of affirmation. “I’ll help you.”

“Are you serious?” Yuri’s eyes opened wide.

His partner laughed lightly. “If I’m never going to see you again anyways, then this’ll be my last present to you.” He laughed weakly again, a few tears breaking loose.

Yuri took his friend into his arms and held him tight, both laughing and crying in a mix of happiness and hopelessness. “ _Thank you_ …” Yuri whispered in the other’s ear.

They separated from each other eventually and washed their faces with cold water to reduce the redness. Still, when the Russians returned, Victor almost immediately noticed Yuri’s red eyes and questioned him unrelentingly for a cause. Yuri gave up and attributed it to another anxiety attack. Victor began to worry but Yuri assured him that Phichit had helped him through it.

Victor spent the day doing paperwork with Yuri on the patio, debating the details of the exchange. How much material and of what quality? Who would be transporting and how? What phones would be used, how would money be transmitted and remaining evidence be disposed of? Victor filled up his notebooks with notes and Yuri did the same, but for a different reason. He would have to transmit the information later.

Despite Yurio’s griping, Victor gave Yuri permission to make dinner for the whole house. “If you don’t like what I make, I can make something else for you.” Yuri offered, trying to keep Yurio from hating him as much as possible.

“I wouldn’t eat anything you made.” He snarled. “You could roast a whole fuck’n pig and I still wouldn’t touch it.”

Victor stepped closer to Yurio, threateningly making a show of their height difference. “You’ll try a bite.” He insisted in a stern voice.

“I don’t get why you’re doing this, Victor.” He shot back. “I get that you trust him, fuck if I care if you put your neck out on the line but that doesn’t give you the right to put me and Yakov in danger too.”

“You can’t seriously be telling me you think he’d poison our dinner? Yurio, if he wanted to kill you, he already would have.”

“I don’t want to kill you.” Yuri assured him quickly. “You can watch me cook, if you like.”

“Why would I want to do something so boring?” The younger sneered.

“All I’m asking you to do is take one bite.” Victor said again.

The two Russians argued for a while more but eventually, Victor won out. After Yurio’s first bite of Katsudon, the complaints ceased. Yuri smiled to himself, feeling that he was starting to win Yurio over.

For the first time since the Asians arrived, everyone gathered on the porch later that night. Victor scribbled in his notebook on a chair beside the radio, which was singing out classical music. Yurio fed left over pork to a stray cat that came trotting out of the woods, apparently knowing that the boy was waiting for it. Yakov watched the young Russian, content just to sit and watch life go by. Yuri and Phichit sat together on the ground, Phichit dozing off on his friend’s shoulder and Yuri weaving a few long weeds into a crown. When he was done, he laid it on Phichit’s head gently.

Yakov was the first to go in, prompting Yuri to wake up his friend and suggest he go up to bed. When Phichit left, Yurio followed, not wanting to get stuck between the lovers. Yuri started on another braided crown, holding the ends of the weeds between his toes and as worked. Neither he nor Victor said anything to each other, they just went about their peaceful existences together until it was time to go up to bed.

Once they reached the bedroom, Victor stripped for bed and Yuri got a book out of the bedside table and climbed in with his lover. Yuri sat in Victor’s arms, nestled in the warmth of his lover’s arms as he read aloud. Moby Dick had been completed and they had moved on to Anna Karenina, the dramatic story of forbidden love, pain, pleasure, and seeking happiness in a time of war, despite the truth that the situation was completely wrong for a romance.  Needless to say, Yuri empathized greatly.

He tried to focus on reading but a smile crept onto his face as he received a few small kisses on the back of his neck. He feigned annoyance. “ _Do you mind_?”

“You smell good.” Victor noted in a whisper. “What are you wearing? Cologne?”

Yuri blushed. “Flowers.”

“How?” He put his nose to Yuri’s flesh again and breathed in. “Lavender?”

“I…I found some on my walk with Phichit.” He felt a little embarrassed admitting to it. “I picked some and let it dry out for a little bit then, today, I put it in my bath water.”

Victor chuckled. “What are you, a nymph?”

Yuri’s embarrassment escalated. “N-no. It’s _normal_.” He insisted. “I used to do it at home all the time.”

Victor paused for a moment to take in the gentle aroma again. “I wouldn’t mind if you here did it more often.”

Yuri was smiling. He had hoped that Victor would like it. He glanced behind him at the man. “Can I get back to reading?”

“Sure.” He slipped out from behind the Asian man and got off the bed. Yuri watched with confusion and disappointment as Victor made his way to a record player.

“ _No way_. You don’t actually _use_ that thing, do you?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” He countered with a smile, slipping a huge black disk out of a paper envelope.

“ _Because it’s old_. I thought all these pretty things in your house were just for show.”

“The same could be said about you being here but look, I’ve proved my critics wrong and I will once again.” He put the record on the machine and dropped the pin on it. Static sounded for a second then an orchestra chimed in. Victor closed his eyes and inhaled the music.

Yuri sat still and listened as well, imagining the sounds like colors. A beautiful soprano rose above the orchestra, her voice rich and soft. Yuri relaxed.

“You’re making that face.” Victor pointed out. “That same face you made when we saw Eugene Onegin together. It’s like the music melts you.” That statement made his partner blush and Victor chuckled in response. “Don’t get embarrassed. I just find it interesting. It’s like flicking a switch. The second the music goes on, you _become_ the music.” The Russian came back to bed and crawled in slowly.

Yuri watched as the man came towards him. He became nervous, not sure what happens next. He glanced down at the book in his lap. “Should I keep reading?” He waited a moment but Victor didn’t respond. When he looked up to see what the matter was, the silver-haired man’s face was only inches from his own. They met eyes and held their gazes, feeling connected. Victor closed the distance by taking Yuri’s chin and gently guiding him into a kiss. After a few seconds, Victor pushed lightly on Yuri’s shoulder, asking him silently to lie back.

The smaller complied, distracted by the kiss and happy to follow Victor’s lead. They parted lips. “Victor…” The smaller whispered.

“I could write an opera about these eyes.” His partner responded, looking lovingly into the deep cocoa orbs. “I could listen for hours to violins crying out a song about the beauty of these eyes that sit before me, wide and wondering. The cellos would hum lowly under the melody and the oboes would coo too, like birds. I could write a hundred songs about you, Yuri. You’re practically made of music, the songs would write themselves.”

The younger fell deeper into the other’s spell. When Victor spoke poetically, Yuri’s heart beat so fiercely he could feel the pulsing in his fingertips. He was unable to respond with words to the flattery so he pulled the other by the shirt collar down to him and matched their lips again. The kisses weren’t ravenous and fast like they had been after the opera that one night. The two gave gentle, passionate, kisses that left them both feeling like water.

The singer continued her ballad and the instruments sang in harmony while the two laid with each other, holding and kissing with devotion.

“This song…” Yuri said once his lips were free. “It’s from Madame Butterfly…”

“Promise me you won’t cry.” Victor teased the other with a soft smile.

Yuri cupped his lover’s cheek. “How could I cry at a moment like this?”

“Are you happy, Yuri?” He bent down and put a kiss on the other’s jaw.

“Yes.”

“And do you know that I love you?” He continued his trail of kisses.

Yuri’s heart skipped a beat. “Y-yes.”

“You don’t sound confident.” His lips traveled down Yuri’s throat.

“I know you love me.” He clarified.

“Do you know how much?”

“How much?”

“I love your jaw...” He trailed a few kisses along the younger’s jaw line. “I love your neck.” He kissed Yuri’s Adam’s apple softly. “Your collarbone, your shoulder blade, your chest…” He kissed each softly.

“So it’s my body you want?” Yuri teased.

“Of course.” He joked back. “I hope I didn’t give off the wrong impression. All of this… inviting you into my house and spending every hour of the day with you, it’s all just been a ploy to get at your body.”

“Oh, that’s fine, as long as you don’t mind that I was doing the same thing.” Yuri countered. Both laughed.

“So…Do you want to… go all the way?” Victor asked. That question made Yuri nervous and Victor sensed it. “What? You’re not a virgin, are you?”

“No.” He answered quickly. “Well… it’s complicated. What do you consider _sex_?”

“If I have to clarify that for you, then you’re a virgin.”

“But I’m not! Not _really_ … I’ve given and received favors before like, you know, with the mouth and stuff.”

“But you’ve never had _intercourse_?” He clarified.

“Kind of?” Yuri was red with embarrassment. “I’ve- I’ve had someone put their… _thing_ in me before but only for a minute.”

“What happened?” The other inquired.

Now Yuri’s embarrassment became more shameful. “I cried and told him to take it out.” He admitted.

Victor scowled. “Did he know you were a virgin?” He asked in a tougher voice.

Yuri nodded. “I think so, I don’t know…”

“And he still made you bottom? _Even though it was your first time_?”

This reaction surprised Yuri. “He was bigger than me so…”

“So what? You still don’t make a virgin bottom on their first time. It takes more experience to be a good bottom. He was just _asking_ for someone to get hurt.”

Yuri’s heart beat happily as he looked at the Russian affectionately. “So you would be willing to bottom for me?”

“Of course. I’m a big boy, I don’t need to constantly top to stroke my ego. That’s ridiculous. Now… I haven’t bottomed in quite some time so we’ll both have to go slow but I know the ropes. We’ll work you up to it eventually but for tonight, don’t worry.”

Yuri ran his hands along Victor’s back. He wanted him. The man looking down at him was completely different than the Victor he had met on that first day. This Victor was kind and mature and loving. “Okay…” He responded softly with a smile. “I will.”

“You will what?”

“I’ll give my first time to you.”

Victor bent down and put a few more kisses on Yuri’s throat. “No dowry to be paid?”

Yuri smiled and arched his back in reaction to the kisses, pure bliss filling his body. “I require twenty bolts of silk and twelve calves.”

Victor snickered. “Can I put that on credit?” He asked, kissing the nook of Yuri’s neck that caused him to burst out in laughter.

“T-Tickles!” The Japanese man protested, trying to push the other off. Victor finally rolled off, laughing. Yuri turned to his side and the two looked at each other happily.

“Victor…” He said, loving the sound of the other’s name.

“Yes, Yuri?”

“You know… this is worryingly similar to the plot of Madama Butterfly. He wants her because she’s a Japanese novelty, pretty and docile. She wants him because he’s foreign to her too, new and exciting. Once he’s had enough of his novelty, he leaves her and moves onto another pretty thing.”

“Is that what makes you scared? The plot of an opera? Yuri…”

“Or think of Paolo and Francesca. Lovers meant for each other but destroyed by the resentment of others. I have enemies and you have enemies, we’re only doubling each other’s danger.”

Victor ruffled Yuri’s hair. “Is that all that’s up here? Stories?”

Yuri scowled. “Stories are as true as truth. Someone comes up with a series of events that people agree are good then we teach them in school to children.”

“Right you are, Little Poet.” He said with a smile. “But haven’t you read any stories that end in ‘happily ever after’?”

He smiled a little bit and shook his head. “Not even one. The Swan Lake, Eugene Onegin, Hamlet… they all end in tragedy.”

“Then I’ll write the first. It starts with a Japanese business man named Yuri who gets lured into the lair of an evil Russian mob boss.”

“How are you sure the business man and the mob boss won’t meet a horrible tragedy?”

“Because I’m the most powerful man in Russia and I will hold back the tide of fate for you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

The two fell into kissing again. Their bodies clung to one another’s and hands traveled anywhere. One minute, Yuri’s hands were buried in Victor’s soft, silver hair and the next, they were down at his ass, playing with the plush skin and making his lover moan softly. The sounds Yuri was getting from Victor only encouraged him to try to earn more.

He moved his mouth to the other’s throat, kissing a few times before turning to more sucking and biting. The first nip he gave Victor caused the other to gasp lightly. As he went, the moans became more desperate. Yuri pushed Victor further, bringing his mouth to one of his soft, pink, nipples and running his tongue over it.

The Russian released a long, low, moan. He breathed heavily and buried his finger’s in Yuri’s hair. The Japanese man sucked lightly on the nub then kissed a trail across Victor’s chest as he went for the other, teasing it in the same way. “Yuri…” Victor breathed.

Yuri looked down, checking Victor’s erection. It was swollen and bobbed as if it had a mind of its own. Yuri moved down on the bed to examine it, genuinely curious. He pushed the tip lightly and watched it bob back. He pushed it down a bit, let go, and it boomeranged back to its upright position. Victor watched, amused. “You have one of your own, don’t you?”

Yuri looked up. “Yeah, why?”

Victor chuckled. “Then what’s so interesting?”

“Nothing, just…” He continued playing with it. “It’s kind of… big. And it moves so much…”

Before Victor could say anything else, Yuri’s head was down and that warm, wet, mouth was around the tip. Victor took a heavy breath in, watching. “Go slow…” He advised, biting his bottom lip to stifle a moan.

Yuri bobbed up and down slowly on the few inches he had in his mouth. Out of curiosity, he pushed his head down to see how much he could take. When he had swallowed three-quarters of Victor’s length, his throat tightened and forced him to pull off with a cough. He was reassured when Victor reached down and started petting his hair. “Easy now.” The Russian coaxed. “Take it easy.”

Yuri put his head back down, determined to prove his ability to satisfy the more experienced man. He wrapped a hand around the girth that he couldn’t fit into his mouth and pumped with the rhythm of his bobbing. Yuri was a shy person in general but in the bedroom, he took on a more determined and unapologetic attitude towards sex, going into it without crying or shying away from the acts he wanted to perform.

Victor moaned and cried in an uncharacteristically pathetic way when he came. Yuri pulled off of his cock, mouth open and the semen dripping out. He had known what was going to happen at climax but he hadn’t given any thought to what he would do with the product so he just sat there, letting it fall out of his mouth.

The scene in front of Victor was like something straight out of his most erotic fantasy. “Come here, Yuri.” He said needily, holding out his hands for his lover. Yuri fell smoothly into his hold but stopped Victor as he went for a kiss, blocking the other’s lips with two fingers. “My mouth… I just.” He said, not sure how to say ‘ _If you kiss me right now, you’ll be eating your own cum’_.

Victor ignored the warning and pulled Yuri to him, kissing him deeply. He parted after a minute, both panting. “If I want to kiss you, I’ll kiss you.” He told the other. Yuri’s heart was so warm, he couldn’t help but go in for another kiss. Victor’s arms wrapped around the smaller man, keeping his prized possession close enough to feel his heartbeat.

Soon, the smaller was rocking back and forth, grinding his hips into Victor’s for some relief for his erection. The older man responded equally enthusiastically, bucking his hips upward rhythmically until they were moving with each other, in sync with their own music.

Yuri kept his arms on either side of Victor, supporting his quickly weakening body as he thrusted his hips into his lover. “Yuri… Give me your fingers.” The Russian requested.

Yuri complied only to have two fingers immediately taken into Victor’s mouth. He sucked, the muscles of his mouth pulling them in deeper and the roughness of his tongue making Yuri shake with desire. He released the fingers with a smirk. “Are you ready to get started?” He asked. The smaller nodded. “Okay, start with just one.”

Yuri did as he was told, queuing up a finger and pushing it in. Victor’s closed eyes tightened a bit. “A little slower, Love.” He corrected, reminding his body to relax. Yuri mumbled a quick apology and slowed down, stopping once the finger was completely hidden in the other. He looked up, checking on his lover. Victor had his head back, breathing himself into relaxation. “Go ahead, move that one.”

Yuri made a hooking motion, driving a moan from his partner. When he got permission, he added the second. In an attempt to silence any discomfort, he took the tip of Victor’s length into his mouth, sucking in time with the thrusting of his fingers. The Russian man shook under his touch.

Yuri pulled off of Victor’s cock with a quiet wet sound, looking at the other’s flushed face with satisfaction. “The third finger?” He offered and received a dizzy nod in return. He put the next digit in, earning a deep moan from his partner. He moved the fingers and took the erection into his mouth, swallowing continuously so that the muscles of his tongue would massage it. Soon, Victor was moving his hips to deepen the reach of the fingers and Yuri could feel that the Russian’s body was fighting to pull him in deeper. He pulled out the fingers slowly.

“Do you think you’re ready?” He asked, sitting back. Victor propped himself up on his elbows.

“Yes.” He answered, lust heavy in his voice.

“Should I… Do you want me to wear a condom?”

“Are you clean?” He asked with a gentle smile. Yuri nodded. “Do you trust me not to get you sick?” Yuri nodded again. “Then no, don’t worry about it, Love.” His smile grew as he put a finger under the Japanese man’s chin and guided him forward to a kiss. Yuri’s eyes flew open in the middle of the passionate kiss as he felt a warm hand tugging on his erection. Victor broke the kiss, smiling.  “You seem ready too.” He teased.

“Do we need something?”

“Like, what?”

“Lube?” He clarified. Victor went to his bedside drawer and pulled out a little pot of white cream and opened it for the apprehensive Yuri. “What is that?” It didn’t look like any lube he was used too.

“ _Coconut oil_.” He said, sounding offended. The younger man burst out laughing.

“And you called _me_ a fairy for putting lavender in my bath! At least I don’t use _coconut oil_ instead of lube!” He teased once he was able to catch his breath.

Victor blushed. “I…I had a different one but it gave me a bad reaction.” He admitted, a bit annoyed.  Yuri couldn’t stop laughing. “You know what, _fine_!” He growled screwing the lid back on. “If you don’t like it, you don’t have to fuck me. _I’m sorry for not having your preferred brand_.”

“ _No, no, no_.” Yuri said between laughs, leaning across his lover and trying to get the container from him. “No, give it to me, Victor.” He chuckled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“Oh, so now I’m not too fairy for you?” He countered, a faint smile reappearing.

Yuri bit his lip to stifle a laugh. “No, not at all. It’s very manly.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, very manly.” He snatched the little tub of oil. “I was wondering what that smell was. You use coconut oil on your hair too, don’t you?” He clumsily tried to remove the lid.

“Yeah. It makes my hair smooth and shiny and… it helps growth…” He admitted a little ashamedly.

Yuri sensed the insecurity in his voice and took advantage of his opportunity to flatter Victor. “Growth?” he took a handful of the silver hair. “But if it gets any thicker, we’re going to have a problem. I don’t know what we’ll do… braid it?” He said with a straight face. Victor’s mood perked up immediately, a big smile spreading from cheek to cheek.

Yuri pressed a kiss to Victor’s cheek. “Show me how to use this?” He requested, holding up the container. Victor smiled and unscrewed the cap for him.

“Just take a little bit. It’ll melt quickly so make sure to get it in quickly.” He advised. Yuri scooped a bit onto his pointer and middle finger, looking to the other for approval. “A little less.” Victor corrected. “Never use too much lube.”

“Sorry. I’m kind of new to this.” He put a little back in the tub.

“No apologies.”

“Um… how do you want to do this?”

“Just like this. I want to be able to see you.”

Yuri smiled, giving Victor one more quick kiss before sitting back and examining the other man. “Ready?”

“I’ve been fanaticizing about this for about three weeks now so, _yeah_ , I’m ready.”

Yuri chucked and slipped the two fingers in, spreading the quickly melting oil inside of Victor then pulling out and wiping the excess on his shaft. “Do I just…?” He sat on his haunches behind Victor with a hand on each of other’s legs.

Victor answered his questions by lifting his legs back with a chuckle. “Can you handle the rest on your own?” He teased. “It’s not rocket science, just put it in.”

“Don’t be so mean.” He grumbled, lining himself up and pushing in.

The Russian gasped and took fistfuls of the sheets in his tight grip. He panted.

Yuri slowed to a stop once he was half in. “Doing okay?”

Victor nodded. “It’s okay. You’re doing good, Yuri. Nice and slow like that.”

Yuri pushed deeper until he was completely inside then stopped and let Victor breath. He stoked the other gently, adding some pleasure to help him cope with penetration.  After a few minutes of breathing and moving his hips around, Victor gave Yuri the go ahead to begin thrusting.

Yuri was nervous, not sure how much to give him. He pulled out an inch and went back in slowly. Victor moaned. The younger held Victor’s hips to brace himself and did the small movement a few more times, trying to get used to the tightness and heat of Victor’s ass. Victor didn’t ask him to change speed or rhythm, giving Yuri the freedom to experiment.

Once he got comfortable, he made his movements a little bigger but still counted the pace of each movement, trying to make sure he was doing it right. “Just relax, Yuri.” The older coaxed. “Your body knows what to do.”

Yuri took a deep breath and started thrusting more freely, listening to the desire of his body. Victor moaned quietly with each thrust, whispering Yuri’s name. Yuri gave his attention to his lover, running his hands up and down his body sensually and letting his hips work on their own.  Soon, those hips were slapping against Victor needily. Yuri moaned and planted sloppy kisses all along Victor’s chest.

Heat consumed the two of them as they moaned together, whimpering small phrases that were incoherent to the other. Yuri had taken care of his own erections a hundred times so he assumed that he already knew what sex was. Being with Victor in that bed changed everything. The heat and squeezing, the moans and slapping, the soft skin beneath him that turned bright red when he sucked it. And then, of course, there was the pleasure.  It made Yuri’s frame shake and his head dizzy.

“Victor!” he whined as he thrusted deeply into the other. “Vi-Victor…ahhh…” He moaned.

“Good job, good boy.” The older encouraged. “That’s it, just like-“ pleasure ran up his spine, “That!”

“Ah! Mm!” Yuri had forgotten pace and rhythm. “F-Fuck…” he whined, feeling heat building in the pit of his stomach. “Fuck… Victor… Ah! Ah! It… it feels so good.”

“Are you close?” The Russian asked, pumping away at his dick and feeling the same pressure.

“Yeah… pull out?”

“No.”

Panting and moaning, Yuri gave himself over to instinct, thrusting fast and hard as he tried to satisfy himself. He mumbled incoherently in Japanese as he gave his last, few, tired thrusts before crying out Victor’s name and finishing inside of him. Victor was only a few seconds behind him, groaning deeply and releasing onto his own chest.

Yuri let himself slide out, exhausted. He looked to the other, waiting for a cue.  “Come here.” Victor instructed. Yuri obeyed, lying beside his lover and holding the other body possessively. For some reason, Yuri felt different. He had loved Victor before but now, the feeling was something even more. _Maybe it’s because this is my first time actually…going all the way,_ He thought. He hugged Victor to him tighter. _Is it creepy to feel like I’ve claimed him? Probably. But… I topped him and came in him so, he’s mine._ He shook the thoughts out of his head. _Stop it, Yuri! That’s so fuck’n creepy! Stop!_ Even though he tried to ignore it, the possessive pride returned. He smiled and nuzzled into Victor’s chest. _This is my Victor. He’s mine. This sweaty skin is mine, this silky hair is mine, these calloused hands are mine. This man…he’s mine._

“Should we clean up?” He asked the older man. Truthfully, he didn’t want to get up.

“One second.” Victor answered. Suddenly, Yuri’s heat was taken from him as Victor went into his drawer and retrieved a pack of baby wipes. Yuri flinched as the cold wipe met his fiery body.

“Are these organic or something?” Yuri joked.

Victor picked up the package and read the back. “As a matter-o’-fact, they are so you can eat your words.” He shot back.

Yuri giggled and relaxed as he let himself be cleaned. “Was it good for you?”

Victor threw the towelette off the side of the bed and laid back down with Yuri. “What do you think?”

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“No. I want to see how perceptive you are. Consider this a test.”

“Okay… well, I like to think you liked it. You sure were making a lot of noise and you moved with me so… yeah. I think it was good for you.”

Victor poked the tip of Yuri’s nose with his finger, a friendly smile on his face. “See, I knew you were clever. _What a smart boy_.”

“I’m not a boy, _I’m a man_. I’ve proven that to you now.”

“That you have.” He replied with a chuckle.  “Come here, close.” He extended an arm that Yuri happily slid under, fitting against the other’s body like a puzzle piece. “Go to sleep. I have somewhere I want to take you tomorrow.”

“Somewhere fun?”

“No, somewhere dreary and drab and you’re going to hate it.” He joked.

“Well, in that case, I better rest up.”

Victor kissed the smaller’s forehead and stoked his hair soothingly until they were both asleep.


End file.
